We are home.

We made it back home safely, and I recommend that every parent try a 20-30 hour journey by planes just for kicks.
Our trip was extended by nearly a week when Mina caught roseola or something similar that left her dotted for a while; Korean Air extended our tickets for free and we took the opportunity to visit Mika and Adam up in Monterey/Pacific Grove/Seaside. Details will probably follow in some fashion.
To everybody – family, friends, and even random strangers – who made our trip possible and enjoyable, thank you. It meant a lot to be able to expose the kids to all of you and yours.
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Meanwhile, my Crown lies immobile in the driveway, battery dead (even though I disconnected it before we left).
Our Cefiro is apparently finished at the body shop, and we’ll go check it out today. Speaking of which, I’m up at six in the morning because Max stayed up all night planting plastic animals in strategic spots where I will step on them later.
Need sleep.
Will report back soon.

Bad juju days

The past 48 hours have been so trying, it would be easier to just forget about them. It is for that very reason that I now attempt to document them.
Two nights ago, I fell asleep with a high fever and covered up with a heavy blanket when the chills started an hour later. I woke up a couple hours later hearing my wife’s voice telling me to do something, but I was drenched in my own sweat and feverish again. I somehow sensed there was a blackout, because the room was completely dark – no flashing LEDs from electronics or nightlights for the babies could be seen.
I kicked off the sweaty blanket and found my glasses by touch, then went to one of my flashlight stashes. None of the fuses were tripped in the fusebox and there was no power running to it. A quick check outside showed that the streetlights were still on and the house next door still had power. As both babies don’t sleep well in the heat (it’s 80° to 90° at night now), Nam called her sister to come pick up Max and take him to sleep at his grandparent’s house and we got ready to take Mina to a hotel if we had to. We then called the power company and they promised to send out a truck to investigate.
I examined our power meter outside and realized I was so feverish, it felt really cool even in the heat. I took deep breaths, popped some tylenol, and wondered why this shit was all happening at once. Little did I know it was just beginning.
The power company came quickly, and checked all the lines in the neighborhood with a spotlight mounted on their orange ten ton (with a cherry picker). They eventually found a blown fuse that connected our house and several others, and replaced it. There was probably no power for around 90 minutes, and in that time, many people left in their cars, probably thinking the power would be out all night and unwilling to spend the night without AC. As the power came back on, Nam’s mom and sister showed up to pick up Max, but he still seemed sleepy so we just let him be. With the aircon back on, we all got back to sleep again eventually.
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The next day, I decided to take my Crown in to a different garage than I usually visit to try and solve recurring engine problems. We dropped it off at a place just down the street from our tract and came back home, where I dropped into a feverish stupor again.
The nanny had to go to a funeral, so I had to stay at home with the Mina while Max went to nursery school and mommy went to work for a meeting around lunch. She went to go look for shoes at Big C Plaza (just down the street from our house) on the way and crashed into the back of a pickup exiting the parking lot. Luckily, no one was hurt. Luckily, our insurance is going to pay for our car’s damage even though this year we downgraded from “first class” insurance to “fifth class” insurance which is a newly-created derivative of “third class” insurance that provides “third class plus” coverage at less than half the price of first class insurance. But still, I love my cars, so let me say this just once:
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
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Luckily, the damage is minimal and the hit was above the airbag sensors. Once I unloaded everything from the Cefiro, we took it to a garage the insurer would let us use (and that we’ve used before).
Nam drove the Cefiro, and I took Max in the Crown, which we picked up at the garage…The mechanic couldn’t find anything really wrong during the short time he had the Kujira, but had some interesting things to say about my recurring green spark plugs. He reckons they were being caused by radiator fluid. The steel cap on the radiator’s reserve tank is the spring-loaded type, but the spring subassembly and rubber gasket must have fallen off years ago, so the cap just sits on the tank loosely… When the radiator boils, fluid erupts from the gap between cap and tank and gets into the plugs. That’s what he reckons, anyway. I admit, it’s a good theory and I’d love for this to have been the cause because if so, I’ve already fixed it by purchasing a new cap. But I have my doubts, because when I first started having this problem, the plugs were doubly protected against moisture by the plug cups, which are held flush to the engine block with four screws each, plus a long cover screwed down on top of that (which I recently modified by cutting short to leave the first five plug cups exposed in an effort to dissipate heat and improve accessibility since I was pulling plugs so often).
Plug problems aside, I noticed that the Crown was still seriously losing power at gear changes. Having ruled out plugs as the cause of this semi-recent problem, I vowed to get to the bottom of it since the Crown had just become our primary form of transportation by default. For the record, I suspected a fuel filter/sock or since it’s a Nissan engine, a sensor problem. I debated all night whether to take it to the Nissan dealer to hook it up to a computer, or back to the garage again. Fate decided for me.
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This morning, my fever and headache were finally gone.
Max didn’t want to get in the car seat but our neighbors kindly distracted him by showing off their litter of eight half-Rot puppies. We got within a kilometer of his school and were pulling out of the old Maha Sarakham University campus when the Crown started losing power and I was forced to reverse back down an incline to park on the side of the road just as the engine completely stopped. It wouldn’t start again and it sounded like I had run out of gas. However, I had put in seven liters from a jerrycan the night before, so I knew this was not the case.
A security guard at the gatehouse helped me push the car into the shade, because it was already getting super hot out. Max, having woken up early and cried pretty hard, was sleeping and sweating profusely. My shirt was soaked, too. The guard brought over a faded traffic cone and plopped it in the street behind my car. I pulled Max from his child seat and as he slept on my shoulder, I called Nam, who was getting a ride from a colleague to work. They came to where we were and called a tow truck from the garage. At that point, I tried one last time and the engine roared back to life. We called to cancel the tow, Nam and her friend took Max to school, and I headed for the garage. On the way, I decided I would go home first to unload all of the tools (tons of them) from my car first, so took a turn that led me back onto the university campus, but on a different route than the one I’d just been on, which is where my car died again.
I called Nam again. I drenched my shirt again. I stood cursing under the sun again. I tried to push my car into shade again but it was uphill, so I gave up and contented myself by just pushing it off the road, in front of a student dormitory entrance. Nam and her friend came again. I found a tow point under the back of her Toyota Fortuner SUV and asked if she wouldn’t mind towing me to the garage. She said she hadn’t done it before, and I told just to drive very slow. I pulled the steel tow cable from my trunk and tried starting my car one last time again. The engine roared back to life again. I headed for the garage again, and got there this time. I left the car with the mechanic, tools and all, and told him what had happened. He told me he thought it was the fuel pump. I said I thought it was a fuel filter.
Nam and her friend were late for work and my university was in the opposite direction, so they took off and I waited for a yellow songtaew (public transportation; a pickup truck with two covered benches on the back) to come by. I got bored waiting for one to come, so I started walking down the highway in the direction of the university. It was already about 95° outside, and the sun was beating down on me. My shirt now just felt like paste covering my body. I waited and waited for a songtaew to come… Along this particular stretch of highway, called the bypass, there is no sizable shade to be seen in either direction. Home was only ten minutes walk away. I started to think that I should go home and get my scooter to go to work… But then I remembered the rear tire was flat and that two bicycle pumps in a row had failed and were unusable. The thought of this – how all things transportation-related were fucking me this very day – made me insanely angry in the hot hot sun, and I realized I was close to having a meltdown. At that moment, a yellow songtaew appeared at the intersection I had walked from, and I waved it down.
After work, we went to pick up the Crown and the mechanic said he couldn’t find any real problems except that it was low on gas, and the fuel filter was kinda blocked with something. He wouldn’t accept payment, except for the gas he put in. I told him I’d drive around and check it out.
Today, at least, the Crown felt normal again, which is great. The trick is going to be keeping her dependably normal.

close call

On my way to pick up Max from school today, I almost killed a female university student who evaded a police checkpoint by speeding straight at me from the opposite direction. I stomped on the brakes as she almost went down sideways, but then her half-raised kickstand caught on the asphalt and inertia righted her scooter as if by magic. She rode off with a bovine smile on her face, perhaps oblivious to how close she had come to dying.
The ironic thing is that the cops were trying to stop her for not wearing a helmet.
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It’s funny, right before the slow motion adrenaline effect kicked in, the only thought that flashed across my brain was about how late this was going to make me. After it was over, I yelled out “stupid bitch,” and three policemen waved me on as if to say, “move along, nothing to see here.”
I’ve seen people escape from the cops here so many times, mostly because the cops don’t need to work too hard – they’re not even bothering to pretend that their ticketing is to make things safer, it’s straight out money making time.

Pulling plugs again

The Kujira Crown has a mysterious problem with its plug contacts corroding at a high rate – enough to affect performance after just two or three weeks. I originally thought it could be fixed by using colder plugs, but that hasn’t helped at all. As it turns out it doesn’t seem to be caused by the engine running hot at all – the Crown’s been parked for a month since I haven’t renewed insurance on it yet. I pulled the plugs once and cleaned them a few weeks ago and only started the car to keep things running a couple times during that period. However, I took it for a spin around the neighborhood after the battery died last week and noticed the low end was really weak and sputtery, so I pulled the first plug. Corroded green again. Back to square one.
I pulled the rest of the plugs today in anticipation of insuring and using the car again next week, and found water on the threads of plugs number three and five. I hope that doesn’t mean something too bad. I’m drying everything out with a fan and under the sun this afternoon. Perhaps it is not too much to ask that this solves the problem.

SsangYong Rodius aka SsangYong Stavic

A few months ago, I saw the ugliest car ever made, in person. I was buying stuff at the fresh market in downtown Sarakham, and there was a white model parked close by. I read the logo, Ssangyong, and wondered what ugly planet it had been beamed down from. I even waited an extra few minutes just to see what kind of blind person had been conned into buying something so obviously atrocious. No luck, though.
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Toyota Floormat Recall

This is a pretty serious problem: Toyota plans huge U.S. recall for dangerous floormats
It sounds more like a headline from the Onion, but it seems like it’s responsible for deaths. I can attest to the dangers of certain types of floor mats because they caused problems in my car last year a few times.
I was using an aftermarket rubber floor mat on the driver’s side of our Cefiro and the mass of the raised lip made the front edge heavy. The mat was naturally pushed forward when I moved my feet around while driving, and once in a while it would get pushed up onto the accelerator. When this happened, I immediately noticed that the pedal wasn’t responding so I shifted to neutral and instinctively kicked the pedal a few times to work the problem loose. This caveman solution worked well enough, but it was pretty surprising to say the least. I dreaded the day when this would happen with my wife driving.
The thing is, I had no idea what was causing the problem at the time. I suspected a mechanical problem with the throttle, so I took it in to the dealer and “rush” ordered a new throttle cable and assembly. Meanwhile, I had the current assembly taken apart, examined, and lubricated. I also had the return spring on the accelerator pedal stalk changed for good measure. It took forever for the new part to come in and a couple weeks into waiting, the accelerator got stuck once again. This time, it took several rounds of furious kicking to get the pedal free. I’d had enough. I ordered the part through a specialty store in town and they got it for me in one day (fucking dealers!). The dealer changed it out. I was happy… Of course, a week later, the accelerator got stuck again.
This time when it happened, I was on a wide open road with nobody around, so after I shifted into neutral, I put my seat all the way back and took a careful look down at the pedals. Lo and behold, the floor mat had shifted forward and was holding down the accelerator part way. I went by my homeboy Ot’s accessory shop and bought a nice set of lower profile mats that fit my car’s floor design much better and don’t shift forward. I haven’t had problems since.
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The thing is, if you have one of the cars described in the recall, what you could do to prevent problems is IMMEDIATELY REMOVE THE DRIVER’S SIDE FLOOR MAT(S).

No work accomplished today

I wanted to get some midterm grading done the past five hours, but I ended up entertaining Max instead. He wouldn’t go to sleep and Nam was busy putting together slides for a presentation in Bangkok at some lexicographical conference in ten days – it takes precedence over my work so I had to watch the baby (of course, pretty soon he will be the toddler and there will be a new baby).
I really need to get as much grading done as I can in chunks because with 11 classes (7 different courses; 3 which I’ve done before but am improving and 4 new ones), a few hundred students, and 35 hours in the classroom a week, it’s impossible to finish all at once or very quickly.
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Something else also popped up this evening: A couple cops came by the house and asked us to call another cop about a traffic accident or something. It turns out that some crazy bitch who tried to make me rear-end her because I wouldn’t let her cut me off while making a dangerous turn into a signal-less intersection (whew!) reported my license number to the police… I remember it very well because it happened on my birthday last week and I was really pissed off, but refrained from cussing her out because I felt bad for the kids in the car… I couldn’t believe that she cut in front of me, waited for my car to get close, and then stomped on the brakes to try and cause an accident with kids in the car. Of course, there’s really nothing she can do unless she makes a bullshit claim, so we’ll see what happens. Basically the cop who Nam called asked us to work it out because this woman came and complained about me “teasing” her… That would be the part where I told her she was a horrible driver and should be more careful with kids in the car…
I feel the cops really have no business asking us about anything or to do anything since nothing happened (apparently by her account as well as mine), but maybe she has a brother on the force or something. If it comes to a “who has bigger friends” contest, though, I will be prepared and show no mercy…

Monkey Time at Kosamphi Forest Park

A few weeks ago we decided to go out for a drive. It was time to take Max for his first visit to the monkey park in the nearby town of Kosum Phisai, so we put his car seat in the trusty old Kujira and were on our way. We took the Kujira instead of the Cefiro because:

  1. Monkeys are little bastards that scratch up cars for fun
  2. Max sleeps really well in the Crown with its worn suspension and lulling vibration
  3. It’s a proper cruising car!!

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Max spots some fellow monkeys!
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To a normal person, this might just look like a bunch of monkeys sitting in a row, but this sight reminded me of cruising by a red light district in Osaka at night where house after house had an old women standing in the doorway, beckoning passers by to come in (I suppose old women just remind me of monkeys).
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Check out the ghost reflection of the key in the ignition!
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In the rearview
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A discerning mommy wondering whether tthis sun-dried banana is organic or not (it is).
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This is why we took the old car.
The Kosamphi Monkey Center (AKA Kosamphi Forest Park, also spelled “Kosumphi”) is a great place to visit if you are tired of seeing giant catfish, and indeed, I think they should just call it a “monkey sanctuary.”

Sunday Drive

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Last Sunday we took a family drive around the outskirts of town and ended up at some sluice gates we always see from the highway. They are adjacent to the parking lot of what may still be a popular outdoor live house called Amazon Park. The sky was perfect and Max fell asleep as I coaxed our trusty sedan over muddy back roads usually used only by gravel trucks and water buffalo.