eat my peta

There is something very ironic about somebody commenting on our wedding photos and claiming that the elephants we hired were stolen from the forest and very badly trained, yet not actually knowing anything about the situation… Girls, I paid for those elephants to be trucked out from Surin specifically so they wouldn’t have to walk on the hot asphalt… They were pedigreed, well-mannered, and very well-trained. And at the end of the day:
Hug a tree – somewhere else!

On Elephants in Thailand

Those of you that attended our wedding last year, keep those memories safe because Thailand has done what they’ve promised to do for years and are now actively enforcing the “no pachyderms on the street” law.
Well, this is what many people think of the new law:

I just saw the Thai equivalent of COPS where the bad guy – I shit you not – was trying to get away on an elephant. The ele wasn’t so big and I’m sure if this had happened in any other country it would have ended in a barrage of 12 gauge slugs… but there were tons of cameras following the “getaway,” and Thais love elephants so much that they basically let it run wild down the wrong side of a busy Bangkok street at night. It made for good television. In the end, they kind of directed it to a narrower street and into an empty lot, where they presumably gave the handler (AKA the bad guy) a ticket for riding an elephant on the street.
Hey, I’m all for letting the animals live in their natural environment and not exploiting them and all, but you actually have to think about this a little harder than, “Let’s return these 3,000 pound critters to their natural environment so they can be happy and natural!” – THERE AIN”T NO FUCKIN’ FOREST LEFT FOR ALL THE ELEPHANTS, PEOPLE! Besides, being hand fed sugar cane on the dirty city streets of SE Asia beats the hell out of being hunted with AKs and RPGs in an African nature preserve, yo…
…I’m just saying.


We are at the end of the Golden Week holiday in Japan and ironically, I’ve been too busy to blog. Getting ready for the big move to Thailand in October and hanging out with friends who came to visit Awaji.
This island turns into a huge tourist trap during the spring and summer holidays – a nice change, but kind of messed up if you have to drive anywhere. I’ve been taking some photos, which I will post a set of later, and got – wait for it – even more wedding photos off of people. If you are not completely sick of seeing me in a white tuxedo yet, you soon will be.
Michelle’s Photo Set
Dave’s Photo Set
As always, links to all known photo sets for the wedding can be found here.
Other photo-related news: You might get a kick out of my set of JUMP photos, which also reminds me – if you are signed up on flickr, come join my newly-created Might as Well Jump Photo Group.

Yet more wedding photos

It’s crunch time. The hardiest of you have persevered, putting your lives on hold for the cause. Work left unfinished, families forgotten, babies left unfed… I am speaking, of course, of our ridiculously huge collection of wedding photos. I asked for complete photodocumentation of this all-day event before it occurred, and you all delivered.
I currently tally all the wedding-related photos on my Flickr account at around 4,700 and over 5 gigabytes. There’s perhaps another loose gig spread around Shutterfly and Yahoo albums, all of which are linked to on the Thailand Wedding Photos entry.
Today I added the long-awaited photos from the “professional” photographer we hired for the event. I took a look at them last night and have a verdict: He was not the best photographer we had on site (some of our guests were noticeably more skilled), but by sheer chance and dogged determination (even nudging monks out of the way at some points) he did get some shots that were missed by everyone else. They are worth going over in slide-show mode when you have some spare time. There are 350+ shots in the morning set, and 250+ in the night set, so without further ado:
Hired photographer’s Morning (Wedding Ceremony) Photos
Hired photographer’s Night (Reception) Photos
If any of you have photos from the trip/wedding you would like to share, let me know and it shall be done. Meanwhile, it is time to start working on video.

Uncle Po

One benefit of getting married is that now I have an uncle Po. I guess I have always secretly wanted an uncle named Po. I mean, who wouldn’t? Uncle Po wore a pimp ass purple silk shirt to my wedding, and was aggressive in getting the photos he wanted with his weathered Nikon – film, of course. Uncle Po is OG like that.
Anyway, go check out his work: Photos from Uncle Po!
And just in case you missed out on any of the other photos we have put up until now, you can find a link to all of them here: LINK
“Annointed by an angry monk”, a photo by Po (uncle)

Musical Observations in Thailand

1. The most popular western band in Thailand is the Eagles
a. I have heard Hotel California more times in one week in Thailand than I did growing up in Southern California in the late 70s/80s
b. Thais singing Life in the Fast Lane at karaoke are no better at it than Japanese singing Country Road
c. Or, for that matter, Americans singing karaoke at all
2. The most popular band among Thai taxi drivers is Carabao
a. There is also an energy drink of the same name sold everywhere, one with a green label and a brown one marked XO
b. The one marked XO tastes like frog penis
c. Or at least what I imagine frog penis tastes like, you fags
3. Currently, the most overplayed music in the Chattuchak market stalls is Punjabi MC
a. Second is Linkin Park/Jay Z (Collision Course)
b. The only thing more annoying than overplayed Punjabi MC is the unmistakeable stench of shit that permeates certain areas of the market
c. Luckily, those areas do not include the deep fried pig stalls, which make the best deep fried pig in all of Thailand in my humble opinion
4. The violinist in the lounge of the the Fortune Hotel in Ratchada is tone deaf
a. Or maybe just never learned how to tune his shit
b. Or maybe just avant garde
c. Or maybe just hates his job and is fucking with everyone
5. Thai rap is fucking awesome
a. Now all they need is a Thai Flava Flav
b. With his clock set to “Thai time” (15 to 45 minutes late, depending on mood)
c. I saw a hooker who looked just like Terminator X walking down the street in a dress and high heels

Exchanging Dollars in Thailand

This is just a short topic I wanted to write down for future reference.
Anything older than the very newest US dollars can be a real pain in the ass to exchange in Thailand.
– I was flat out refused at one major bank and two exchange booths trying to exchange $100 bills.
– One bank had a note written on the window saying that US currency from 1990, 1993, 1996, and 2002 of any denomination, could not be accepted. (I suppose we have Kim “supernote” Jong Il to thank for that.)
– To determine if a note is real or counterfeit, the following procedure is used by the cashier:
1. Hold the bill up to ceiling light and squint at it for a while.
2. Straighten out the bill against the edge of the counter; reversely, if bill is new, crumple it up a bit and mumble something about it being “too old” or “too new.”
3. Call over the next cashier and let them squint at it against the ceiling light for a while.
4. Pass it under a UV lamp (presumably in case “COUNTERFEIT” has been stamped across it with lemon juice).
5. Call over the manager. He will take the bill and executively squint at it against the ceiling light for a while.
6. Test it with a counterfeit detecting pen.
7. Collectively squint at the bill against the ceiling light with every staff member in the bank, up to and including the branch president, and his pet poodle. Pretend you all know little details to look for like the booger in Andrew Jackson’s nose, etc., and have a little powwow about it.
8. Once you have cleared the first bill, start from step one to check any additional ones.

Thailand Wedding Video Update

I’m working on the wedding videos and learning new software (Adobe Premiere 2) at the same time, so bear with me. So far I’ve captured the 3 hours of footage that T took, and I’m waiting for delivery of another few hours from the videographer in Thailand. I will edit it and distribute on DVD to whoever asks for a copy… Meanwhile, here’s a test clip I made while playing around tonight:
(Left click image to play the video, or right click and choose “Save As”)
Well, she said she was gonna get it and she got it. What can I say.
Note: Sharp viewers will spot the obviously confused participant on the left side of the screen.

Custom TOTO

(click on image to enlarge)
This is, quite simply, the coolest urinal I have ever seen (and I have seen my fair share of urinals, son). This was located at the floating market located a couple hours from Bangkok, Damnoen Saduak, which was incidentally well worth the trip. A lot of people said it was a tourist trap so I was kind of wary at first, but all I can say is: Racing longtail boats down narrow canals! Monitor lizards basking in the sun! Awesome urinals!