You may think you are cool… But you will be much cooler after you pour this in your ear and let it seep from your pores and permeate throughout your personal space.
I mean, until you hear homie singing and humming along to the bass line, you really haven’t lived. This is what he looks like:
Our storage room with all my Case Logic gear was flooded in October. So I’ve been going through the absolute mess made of my perfectly organized collection and listening to CDs for the first time in 20 years. There’s some real gems in there.
When I started out as a copywriter in a medium-sized translation office in Miyakojima, Osaka, I had more translation and technical writing jobs than anything very creative… but in that first year, a huge job landed on my desk, unbeknownst to me. The job was simple, the client wanted a rewrite and “native check” from a random gaijin on staff – me. The original headline was a single sentence, roughly worded. Something like, “We can see the future on this LSI.” Of course, nobody knew (and to this day, nobody knows) what an LSI was, so: “Large-scale integration (LSI) is the process of integrating or embedding thousands of transistors on a single silicon semiconductor microchip.” In semiconductor manufacturing circles, it refers to a specific kind of microchip.
I tried to convince the client to replace “LSI” with “microchip” for a few hours, but to no avail – the nomenclature was set in stone. So I suggested “The Future is on LSIs,” and promptly moved onto the next job. I was used to knocking out several quick jobs a day, so I didn’t really give it a second thought. Until I was watching TV one day half a year later and saw Jeff Goldblum, in the desert, with a spiky haircut, speaking words I had written:
It was my proudest day as a copywriter.
Later in my career, I would work with advertising legends like Leo Burnett on hot accounts like Sony Vaio, Virgin Records, and the Honda Insight, but I would always be drawn back to that hot day in the translation office in Osaka.
Spirytus Rektyfikowany is in high demand in Japan where it’s being used as an alternative to rubbing alcohol. This is the stuff we were known for using in our serious cocktails at both Rumours and Bill’s Bar in Nara.
Apparently he just walked off when the boat docked.
That’s the Ebisubashi bridge (Nampabashi/Hikkakebashi) under the famous Glico neon sign, where I spent approximately 0.004% of my total time in Japan. If I remember correctly, that was just enough time for me or my friends to throw someone else off that bridge… Was it me? I was pretty OK at drunk judo… Was it Dave? Was it on TV? For the life of me, I can’t even remember the name of the guy we threw off… I remember he was a real ass, though.
Dear Nissan, Now that you have ousted Carlos-sama, can you please stop making horrendous cars? For example, no Skyline is worth a million dollars. Period. But this isn’t even trying:
Now, it’s rumored that you gangstabbed your Caesar in the back because he wanted to fully merge Nissan and Renault, but really, at this point you need to look at Renault’s current product lineup compared to yours. Although many Renault products look quirky, they are at least generically modern, while Nissan’s look like they were designed in North Korea:
It’s not necessary for you to compete with everybody on all fronts, but please, stop making ugly-ass cars. Please go back to your roots.
If I were still in Japan, I might be into that… Different and kinda expensive, but not overly weird. Then again, I think about my homie that drove around a Suburban and was constantly getting stuck parking spaces, narrow streets, and once, even a car wash, and it might give me pause. Still… Those oversize Watas are pretty awesome.
Tech-enabled procreation aid for rapidly aging population (G Parking)
Ad-hoc conveyor sushi party set
I wish Nissan would quit spending resources on clickbait and just make better cars… My RB-20 cries itself to sleep every night knowing that its great grandkids are (under) powering ugly hybrid bimbo boxes with whiny CVTs and ridiculous start/stop features.