Monthly Archives: August 2004

Mystic River

The ending of this film bothered me so much that I had to go looking on the net, totally convinced that I had missed something vital in the 0.5 seconds it took me to throw a tissue in the garbage there near the end of the film during the parade scene.
Verdict: I didn’t miss a goddamn thing.

Please, Make the Bad Man Go Away

So I’m on a coffee break and the guy next to me says, out of the blue, “I wonder how many legs you can pull off a centipede without impeding its ability to forage for food.”
I’m at a loss for words, and I wonder if this line of thought has anything to do with the fact that he just got chewed a while ago out by the boss in front of the whole office for holding up production of a new product.
A few seconds later, in the same monotonous patter, he muses, “I wonder if its like one of those 16-wheel tractor trailers… If one or two go flat, there’s basically no effect…”
Well, that’s innocent enough, right? Typical engineer-type daydreams, I imagine.
Then: “I wonder if losing a leg is as painful for a centipede as it is for a human being.”
Well. I finished my coffee in record time, my friends…
Work issues. Gotta love ’em.

School of Rice

I proudly present to you the latest combined efforts of myself and my little bro:
School of Rice
The purpose of the blog is twofold; first to document rice in the sense of tacky car mods (such as bazooka-like exhaust pipes, homemade rear wings, and HKS stickers), and second, to document anything else we categorize as rice. In other words, I have not a clue, but am determined to make this new blog a success because I like the name so much. School of Rice. Maybe I’ll shelve some recipes there, too.
Be sure to check out the uber-rice shot Adam posted today… The recent BMW 7 series lineup is ugly enough as it is…

Earth to Politicians

Now we start with the real hurt; time to break out the industrial strength can of Smear. I predict a scandal with drugs, hookers, or some such felony will break soon. Some possible headlines:
Jenna and Barbara Sic Secret Service on Gay Rapper! As a Joke! While Stoned!
Teresa Heinz: Godmother of John Walker Lindh Urged Him to Fight
Curious George to Michael J: I’ll Watch Bubbles While You’re Gone, Baby
Kerry, “Just a Cool Guy,” Sucked Glass Dick with D12 Backstage, Says Eminem.
First Lady Owns Stock in Dutch Wife Co, Ltd.!
OK, this is obviously a work in progress, but you get what I mean. At some point, it stops being a choice between two candidates and becomes a shit-slinging contest… In the end, nobody emerges clean.