Category: Society & Culture

Hardly News

So after 9/11, I signed up for e-mail updates from CNN for breaking news items – you know, back then it was impossible to get to major news sites and even the big newsbloggers were getting bogged down with traffic. I figured it was a good way to be kept kinda in the loop for major events, etc… It worked out kind of in that way, in that sometimes the e-mails would cover stories that we just don’t get coverage of in Japan, even on CNN International.
The thing is, though, it sometimes makes me sad. Like today, the CNN Breaking News alert I received contained the following info only:

The Pittsburgh Steelers win Super Bowl XL, beating the Seattle Seahawks 21-10 Sunday night.

I may just be completely out of the loop, but hearing that just makes me want to say whoop-dee-fucking-do. Mind you, these News Alerts are not daily or anything, they only send them when “important” shit happens. So I guess Superbowl results now rate right up there with devastation of entire cities and American soldiers fighting and dying in foreign lands (actually, they stopped sending updates about the war over a year ago).
I guess what I’m trying to say is: Priorities, bitches. In the grander scheme of things, individual sports competition results rank very low. Plus, anyone who didn’t already know the score by the time you sent the News Alert probably doesn’t give half a shit.
It is Monday, and I have had my rant.
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It occurs to me that I could be told to simply opt out of the mailings. Believe me, I have tried…

Cheap Cheap

One of the great joys while shopping in Thailand is the bargaining – there is a definite art to it. One must find the equilibrium between getting the best deal on an item and becoming frustrated and looking like an asshole.
In this context, an asshole is either a jerk using noobie bargaining tactics, or more commonly, someone who is expending copious amounts of time and effort for a negligible monetary return, i.e., battling it out with an old lady over a dollar difference on a twenty dollar purchase. Is a dollar difference worth sealing a deal but leaving one party with a sour taste in their mouth? Some people would answer with an unequivocal, “yes!” You are the people I do not want to go shopping with, because in the larger scope of things, that dollar means shit to you or me. Sure, it can buy you a whole meal or two there. I say, so fucking what. Who needs the meal more? Sure, sealing a sweet deal feels great – everybody likes to be a winner – but if you feel like an asshole for squeezing a street vendor for a few pennies, you most probably are.
The flip side of being an asshole is being a sucker. If you don’t bargain at all, you are a sucker, and you are seriously missing out on some fun. Looking back, I now recognize that I used to take bargaining too seriously until I learned to enjoy it. Thai people are for the most part really fucking laid back and cool. Deal with vendors who return your smile, and everything will work out fine – don’t forget a lot of vendors are assholes, too, and want nothing but (A) your money and (B) for you to get your unintelligible ass out of their sight, ASAP.
Like I said – it’s all about finding that equilibrium.
This is not a sophisticated game like buying high-quality knockoffs in Korea; no layer cakes here. This is a simple exercise in basic bargaining:
“How much for this?”
“Can you give me a good price?”
“How about ____?”
” No? What if I buy two/a dozen/____?”
“Is that the best you can do?”
“C’mon, meet me halfway!”
“Thank you!”
And that is the template for a basic bargaining approach. You will learn many others in your travels, grasshopper. But you will always return to the basics.

Hormonal Question

QUESTION: At a friendly get together, what is more annoying than having a guy who acts like he can kick everybody’s ass in the room, as well a girl acting like the head cheerleader at high school?
ANSWER: Having the same as above arrive as a couple and then getting sucked into their wine snob conversation.
SUPPLEMENT #1: And then finding out they get off on kissing in front of other people.
SUPPLEMENT #2: And wondering how they can act like this well into their fifties. Wrinkles and liver spots, baby.

Video chat

Some people have recently asked why I don’t use a webcam and enable video messenging. Some possible replies:
– Do you really want to see me picking my nose and flipping off the screen that badly?
– I’m not that vain
– I’m a leper
– It feels too much like work (we have videoconferences all the time)
– It would impede my “walk around the house naked” lifestyle
– It makes me feel powerful to be able to watch you when you can’t watch me
– What is this, 1998?

Random thoughts on movies/TV

– There is no such thing as a movie being better than the book. And the screen version of Where the the Wild Things Are directed by Spike Lee Jonze will probably prove this beyond a doubt (if it’s an exception to the rule, however, excellent!).
– Hollywood is poison to successful Hong Kong talent. Case in point #1: Chow Yun Fat, #2 John Woo, #3 Michelle Yeoh (also read: The law of diminishing returns)
– Amazingly, Japanese TV manages to suck even harder than American TV
– Even more amazingly, Japanese MTV sucks even harder than American MTV (see also: Japanese rappers, J-Pop)
– The only thing more annoying than trailers for a retarded show like Ally McBeal is trailers for a retarded show like Ally McBeal in Japanese (theme songs and all)
– CNN Japan occasionally airs The Daily Show episodes at 3:30 in the morning
– Kiefer Sutherland has nothing to lose by legally changing his name to Jack Bauer
– It is my firm belief that most Japanese people have never seen a Kurosawa film (although many claim to have, and they all DO know who he was, at least)
– At movie theaters in Thailand, people stand up and sing in honor of the king before the movie begins (they hold their right hand over their hearts like the Pledge of Allegiance, if I remember correctly)
– Movie theaters in Thailand have had better seating reservation systems than most in the US or Japan for the past 5 years (customer-operated Windows-based touch screen systems at the ticket booth)
– Overseas movies routinely take several months to appear in Japanese theaters
– Movie channels on Japanese cable/sat TV are unbelievably pathetic (“new features” are often 2-3 years old)
– The NTSC system suxxors compares to PAL

Skype, Out

Will anyone stand up to the Chinese government?
Skype caves in to Chinese censors
I’m sick of those commie bastards dictating morally wrong terms of business to Western companies. And will said companies please grow some fucking balls already? Jeez.
Hope you feel proud participating in the censorship of, say, the Dalai Lama… Well, you just wait. Karma’s a fucking bitch, you nutless cowards.
The thing is, I’d have figured a righteous company like Skype would somehow act better than those pussies over at , say, Yahoo (oooops there goes my del.ico.us and flickr accounts)… Guess I’ll see you guys again when I need to ask someone what Beijing dick tastes like.