Category: Society & Culture

I’ve been taken out of commission by some type of heat rash or allergy affecting my face and neck. I’ve assembled the finest team of witch doctors in the Northeastern Region, and am currently sticking dried gecko in my orifices to get rid of this affliction.
In the meantime, please enjoy my photo of a lung-shaped, rotting mango:

It was supposed to be a photo of just a lung-shaped mango, but I forgot about it for a week.

The disappointment of finding overcooked xx* noodles in a bowl of tasty broth is directly equal to that of an overcooked hamburger with full garnishes.
*where xx = udon, ramen, soba, saimin, sen-yai, gui-teow, etc., etc., etc.

Probably the only famous Australian you can immediately conjure to mind has died. Sad, and sad.
UPDATE: So did the sales genius behind Ginsu knives.
UPDATE 2: For the next twenty years, the stingray will be inexorably linked, in the mind of pretty much everyone, to Steve Irwin’s death. But that’s the coolest thing about Steve: The stingray will be remembered for his death, but not villainized, because everybody knows he never would have blamed the animal. His gift was being able to convey his genuine goodwill to animals without seeming fake or preachy.
It is being reported that the police are in possession of the actual footage of the accident, and that it might have occurred because the animal was caught between Steve and the cameraman and felt threatened.

Check it out: The face of Little Tokyo is changing
$820,000 for a 3-bed 2BR @ 1,226 square feet! That’s a stone’s throw from skid row, people!
Then again, there is the coming of a new high-speed wireless network, the annual celebration of Nisei Week, and the (pending approval of a liquor license) upscale titty bar, the Penthouse Club, to look forward to. (Joke: How many lapdancers can a city councilman fit on his lap? Answer: Shut up and suck this dick, bitch!)

There are times when beating on a fucker like this with a baseball bat would just make my day. Why do we even tolerate clowns in modern society? They should be burned at the stake as far as I’m concerned, right along with mimes, jugglers, and human statues.
Oh, and parents who hire clowns for their children’s birthday parties should be fucking shot, too.

“Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger to be cited for failure to wear a helmet, not having a proper license at time of his June 12 accident.”

1. And this affects me and 99.9999999% of the world how?
2. Please tell me why he should care about a fucking traffic citation, as opposed to, say, the massive trauma to his face and head.
3. Please tell me why you consider this worthy of an e-mail news alert while, say, this is not.

It just occurred to me that I can’t remember the last time I’ve been inside a movie theatre. It’s been at least a year, maybe two. Yet I’ve seen every movie that I’ve wanted to, and some of those I saw before they were released in theatres. Of course, I encourage other people to do the same as well – I really wouldn’t care if modern movies, as we know them, simply ceased to exist. They are entertaining, but about as meaningful as picking your nose.
So somehow, this is all very satisfying.
In the words of Chuck D: Hey yo, fuck Hollywood, man.

Yesterday we saw the most interesting car on this island.
I applaud the concept:
– A brand spankin’ new Lexus SC 430 in jet black
– Top lowered to enjoy the fine weather at sunset
The execution caused me to laugh so hard, I almost puked:
– Driver: mid-to-late 50’s, toupe peeled back halfway off his head
– Music: Very loud, very gay J-Pop
– Custom rims: Spinners!
Observation for the day: Rich people in expensive cars really hate being laughed at by mere pedestrians.

“If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese. It works!”
I totally had to pull the corner of my eyes as if I were Chinese. Is this conclusive evidence that the Japanese race evolved independently from the rest of the world (as people who drive black buses around urban centers blaring loud propaganda messages through speaker towers would want you to believe), or am I just a bad Asian?
(via Osaka bill)