Category: Society & Culture

Lest anyone forget, we are at war:
One Enemy K.I.A.
It’s easy to forget the bigger picture when you get caught up in the bullshit pushed by mass media. Regarding the coming elections, the war is by far the most important issue in my mind. That said, we now return to our regularly scheduled broadcast.

MSDS. It stands for Material Safety Data Sheet, and those of you who don’t already know what it is aren’t missing out on much. An MSDS describes the chemical properties, hazards identification, first aid measures, accidental spill measures, storage and handling information, etcetera etcetera blahblahblahblah of a substance in uniformly boring detail (except the hand-scrawled ones from China, legal status of which is sometimes worrying, but which can be amusing from a “is there really a company called TIN DONG PLASTICS, Ltd.?” perspective). Anyway, when a new material is being evaluated for a product, the basic research starts with its MSDS to determine if it’s suitable. Some of you working in shipping departments may know what an MSDS is since it must be included when shipping certain substances.
So I was reading one of these documents today for a kind of synthetic material (let’s call it “Smaktophonium 57” for simplicity’s sake) I had to research, and came across the following:

SKIN:
In studies on albino rabbits, Smaktophonium 57 copolymers caused moderate skin irritation. Molten polymer causes thermal burns.

I’d like to believe they didn’t test that last part on the rabbits.

EYES:
In studies on albino rabbits, Smaktophonium 57 copolymers were found to be transient, moderate eye irritants.”

Well, that’s pretty fucked up. Bad karma, labdudes. I’m sure the rabbits would agree. But what I really want to know is, how the fuck do you tell if an albino rabbit’s eyes are irritated?

Yo! You in the white coat! Pass the visine already, fucker.

Growing up in Orange County, California, my parents must have taken me to Disneyland at least two or three times a year. I loved the hell out of the submarine ride, the Jungle Cruise, the Pirates of the Caribbean. Hell, I even remember at time when Captain E.O. was some impressive shit, and Star Tours – wow, when that came out, it kind of sent a big “fuck you” to all the other rides as far as sophistication goes. Yeah, I remember loving the Magic Kingdom even after we moved away to Ventura County (Camarillo and Ojai). Somewhere around high school, however, the thrill wore off. Perhaps I had overdosed on the experience, or maybe I just grew out of it. Today, I am an official Disneyland Hater. In California, as well as the vast majority of Japan, this is equivalent to being a grouchy old hermit. People cannot understand why I hate Disneyland (and I really hate it; last time I went there I almost punched out an obnoxious fucker who accused us of cutting in line in front of his kid).
Well, this may seem like a trivial thing to wrote about, but it got me to thinking again today when I saw this article (link picked up from Boing Boing):
http://www.miceage.com/allutz/al072704a.htm
The pertinent point is the fact that the Jungle Book staff no longer pack cap guns with which to ward off the angry hippo. I went to D-land at the end of last year for the first time in ages, so I could take my girlfriend (who is Thai and had never gone) and hang out with my younger cousins for a day. After the Nighmare Before Christmas-themed Haunted House experience was tainted by the “line cutting” incident mentioned above, I couldn’t help but notice the Politically Correct buttfuckery achieved at the Pirates of the Caribbean – wenches chasing pirates instead of the original, perhaps more believable and historically accurate, pirates chasing wenches (for the express purpose of raping, BTW) – and this was kind of laughable, since a lot of Californians are prude PC fuckheads and this type of shit is expected. But. When I saw that the Jungle Cruise had also fallen victim to the PC mindset, I nearly blew a gasket. For Christ’s sake, the cap guns were the high point of the whole fucking ride! I’m not the only one to think so, am I?
What the fuck could possibly be accomplished by deleting the climax of the Jungle Cruise? Why was it done? Are the lawyers afraid that some kid would go on a rampage with a single action reveolver, slaughtering innocent hippopotami, and then sue the park, or what? This is absolute epitome of lawyer bullshit!
My message to the idiots in charge of the park is as follows:
REARM THE JUNGLE CRUISE STAFF, ASSHOLES!
YO-HO YO-HO UNPUSSIFY THE PIRATES FOR ME!
AND BRING BACK THE SUBMARINE RIDE, IDIOTS!
If you can accomplish these three things, I will hate Disneyland a little less. And by “I,” I mean, “most of us.”
Update: Check out the Disney Blog.

The Montagnards are the Kurds of SE Asia:
Vietnam’s Tribal Injustice
I take that back. The Kurds have a home base and the means to defend themselves to some degree. Maybe they are only similar in the sense that everyone lines up to screw them over. I feel really sorry for anyone in the sights of Hun Sen. (Oh shit, there goes my chances for a backpacking visa…)

On the other hand, it’s NOT FUCKING OK to spit at Lance Armstrong just because he owns your second-rate competitors every year. Stupid fucks.
Update:

Yeah, fuck you too, you stupid ETA cunt. It’s not a fucking soccer game, show some fucking class already.

Every time I swear at the perfidy of the French government, I calm myself by remembering all my good friends in that country and the wonderful times we’ve had over the years.

In response to questions regarding the beauty of Nepalese women, Taro answered that you never really see Nepalese women in Nepal. They are traditionally kept hidden from view.

I’m really looking forward to seeing sumo for the first time. We’re going to the Nagoya tournament on Saturday. Here’s an article about sumo barely surviving as a school sport in Kanazawa:
Wrestle Mania
It’s worth clicking for the photo alone.
Money quote from a Ministry of Education spokesman:

Nowadays it’s difficult to promote a sport where the participants are basically naked.

Wow, it’s reassuring to see the education of a Japan’s youth in such able, perceptive hands. Following this logic, we’re sure to see the sharp decline in swimming in school athletic programs fairly soon, right?

There’s a memorable profile on Karl Taro Greenfeld, written by the man himself, over at Time Asia:
Tokyo Popped
His writing, as always, is vivid and enjoyable. Sometimes I suspect he and Gibson go out for strolls into the Tokyo night, each mentally recording all they see.

Wataru-kun must have lost his price tag again.
So it begins:
School to put electronic tags on students to monitor safety
Paired with the Ministry of Health’s decision to implant foreign dogs (actual canines, not gaijin) with microchips to “prevent rabies,” I think it’s fairly obvious where this is heading. The next time any of you have to renew your visa, don’t be surprised when they ask you to submit to a subdermal implant… On the brighter side, would this mean we no longer have to carry around our gaijin cards?