Category: Chillin’

“Is something wrong, she said”

“Well of course there is
‘You’re still alive,’ she said
Oh, but I deserve to be?
Is that the question?
And if so…if so…who answers…who answers.”

I’m still alive… I just have no time, at least for a short while longer.
The most amazing set of photos have been taken, I just need some time to process and post.
I have many things to write about, I just need time to figure out how to say them.
I have not abandoned thee, I just ask for a little while to get my shit together.
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I have a strict quality standard for this blog, in that I will either provide unique shit that I find interesting, intersparsed with angry spurts of “fuck that shit” commentary, or I will shut the fuck up for whatever reason. Right now, I have a whatever reason.
Thanks for the love.

What’s going on


I’ve been busy this week helping our program organize International Day, which consisted of student efforts at creating performances, food, and events associated with various foreign countries. This being Asia, the state of Hawaii and “Cowboy” were somehow considered countries of their own. Also, I witnessed the requisite “oogabooga” dance performance done by male students in blackface, carrying spears and wearing reed skirts (representing South Africa no less). It wasn’t all bad, though. Good fun was had by all. My mind, however, is stuck on only one thing – I’m going to pick up my car on Saturday! I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. Or maybe I can, and hence this post… Let me shut up for a while until I can take some photos of the new ride to brag about.

You know you’re from California if…

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes; You know you’re from California if:

  1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
  2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
  3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
  4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Sun Flower.
  5. You can’t remember . . is pot illegal?
  6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
  7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
  8. You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
  9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
  10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
  11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
  12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
  13. You can’t remember . . .is pot illegal?
  14. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
  15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers
  16. It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
  17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
  18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
  19. The Terminator is your governor.
  20. If you drive illegally, they take away your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.

(thx dad)

Counterbalance

Yesterday was a paradox of bad things that would have been a lot worse if not for little blessings:

  1. A big dog came running after me – but there was a big rock on the ground next to me, and I don’t play to lose in a country that doesn’t vaccinate
  2. Our right rear tire blew out on the highway – but we were only going 60kph, and there was a tire store 200 yards up the road
  3. Nam locked us out of our house – but her sister, who lives fifteen minutes away, just happened to have a key
  4. I stepped on a dog turd – but it was the “perfect” consistency (not wet enough to stick and not dried out enough to crumble and generate the dreaded Doggy Doo Dust)
  5. The water supply for the entire neighborhood got shut off – but there was water left in our auxiliary tanks, and taking bucket baths on the lawn was refreshing

vomitus

Just thought I’d let you know one of the most unpleasant combinations of injuries/sickness I have ever experienced: Bruised ribs and projectile vomiting.
I thought I’d let this one pass because the cause of the bruised ribs is kind of embarassing… A couple weeks ago, my hand slipped outward when I was pushing myself out of the bathtub, and the full weight of my torso came down on its edge (I made kind of a wheezing, squeaky sound like ooofeeeeee…). No immediate sharp pain or anything, but it was sore like hell for about a week (although the soreness is almost gone now, except when I lay on my side).
Then last Friday I must have eaten something bad at the university cafeteria for lunch, because by late afternoon, I started feeling nauseous. We were having a dinner party at our house that evening, but I was bedridden with a fever and diarrhea. However, our guests were from Japan and I had to at least say hi. So I took some pills to settle my stomach (I hadn’t actually puked at this point), and got dressed, then went downstairs to greet about thirty people… Long story short, I should have stayed in bed. By the time I got around to the last group bowing and sawasdee-ing, I could feel the purge valve kicking in – I hurriedly said my greetings, excused myself, and ran upstairs with burning vomit creeping up my throat inch by inch. I burst into my room and did the oh-fuck-where’s-the-wastebasket dance with puke leaking into my cupped hands, and fell to my knees gagging as tears ran down my cheeks. Nam found the wastebasket just in time (I couldn’t make it to the bathroom) and kicked it over to me….
UUUUUUUUA….UNGLARRRRRGPH…BLAAAAAAAAA
You know that split second when you’re tossing your cookies, I mean really tossing them with your jaw locked forward and neck stiffened, and a stream of foul-smelling acid is flowing out your mouth, and the only thing you can cling to inside is the ANTICIPATED RELIEF you will feel when you are all done?
Yeah, that moment never came.
Instead, my bruised ribs immediately started screaming in protest at being stretched – it hurt so bad that I was actually crying from the pain instead of the vomiting – and had the unexpected effect of making me vomit more. I had created a perpetual cycle of vomit!
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The punch line: Apparently all the dinner guests outside on the lawn heard me through the open second story windows, and there were more leftovers than we expected – especially the fish.