You know you’re from California if…

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes; You know you’re from California if:

  1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
  2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
  3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
  4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Sun Flower.
  5. You can’t remember . . is pot illegal?
  6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
  7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
  8. You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
  9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
  10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
  11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
  12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
  13. You can’t remember . . .is pot illegal?
  14. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
  15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers
  16. It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
  17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
  18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
  19. The Terminator is your governor.
  20. If you drive illegally, they take away your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.

(thx dad)

4 thoughts on “You know you’re from California if…

  1. Hey! I don’t find that very funny!! 14 & 16 actually apply to Bakersfield. Now, as a Californian, and an American, I will sue you for slander.

  2. get this. Factoid – in Santa Barbara, they’re giving housing subsidies to people making 190K a year. So much for feeling like king-shit when you’re making 190K a year.

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