choose your pwned adventure

This is the funniest shit I’ve seen for a long, long time:
“Choose Your Own Adventure” Books That Never Quite Made It
I really used to be into those books, and the Zork series as well. The Zork books had moralistic endings (“You chose to cheat by stating you had the Sneakers of Lightness, so the story ends here. Think about what a bad person you are for a while.”) built in for cheaters, like me.

High Heel Theory

At the end of last year, Nam interpreted in Bangkok for a famous Yoshimoto comedienne, High Heel Momoko. They ended up hitting it off, and Momoko invited us to dinner this past weekend. This is how I, the guy who basically holds Japanese TV responsible for the heinous dumbing-down of the past few generations, found himself in a room full of famous people and their agents on Saturday night. It was thoroughly enjoyable.
Momoko and her entourage are a close-knit group and at first there was of course a lot of industry talk going on, which was interesting in the sense that people who work in television are always viewing the world around them through a virtual camera lens. “Wouldn’t this make an excellent filming location,” and, “isn’t so-and-so getting their own series this year.” That kinda stuff. Later, though, we chatted with Momoko and I did the inevitable by asking why she originally took on the High Heel moniker.
The main reason was very simple, that girls like high heels and she wanted to appeal heavily to females in the audience during her standup routines. She then went on to explain that you need two shoes to have a complete pair and manzai is also like this because there are two parts to the act (the tukkomi and the boke). Also, comedians often employ contradictions (two contrating points) to make people laugh. Her point was later illustrated when Kuro-chan, from a comedy troupe called Yasuda Dai Circus walked through the door. He’s a big fellow who looks like a mean skinhead until he opens his mouth and his tickle-me-Elmo voice bursts forth – “Kuro-chan deeeeesu!” That guy had me laughing all night, because I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that that was his real voice – of course everyone asked him if it was, but you can never tell what people will do to make it in television, right? I wanted to hold him down and tickle him to see if his voice would shift to a baritone, that’s how ridiculously high his voice is.
All in all, it was a fun dinner.