I’ve put up with the various quirks and idiosyncrasies common to westerners working in corporate Japan for quite some time now and I think I’ve done very well, overall. But today I came this close to blowing my stack, just going COMPLETELY FUCKING NUTS, in front of the whole office, because MOST JAPANESE ADULTS ARE ACTUALLY JUST (SLIGHTLY) OVERGROWN CHILDREN… Ahh, now I feel much better with that off my chest. So what set me off? (this time) Our senior manager, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to enstate a “concentration period” from 12:25 to 2:40 PM every day, when we will not be allowed to leave our desks except…

It would be pretty fun to check this out with my brother and sisters: Goonies 20th Anniversary Celebration Combined, we must have watched that movie at least fifty times. Plus, I think the little stereotyped Asian kid inspired me to become a gadget freak.

Recently, dealing with changes due to the new fiscal year have taken up my time at work, and today was no exception. Into my Inbox flies a matter of great concern to the corporate higher-ups: They say we have been bad monkeys, and our poor “upbringing” and “manners” are marring the company’s precious image as of late. Severe breaches in company protocol have been observed, thus they are compelled to remind us of the following: – Morning exercises are mandatory. – Break time is finished when the bell chimes. – Drink vending machines may only be used during break time. – Eating and drinking are only allowed in break rooms,…

Yesterday was my company hanami. I didn’t feel much like drinking from noon, so I went at around four-fifteen. It’s only about fifteen minutes up to the top of Magata-yama, where it was being held, so I bought a tall can of Asahi at the bottom of the hill and hiked up. I looked for my party for half an hour and they weren’t there, so I sat under a secluded grove of sakura, sipped my beer, and went back home. The people at work obviously have no idea what a real hanami is.

Was listening to Van Morrison late last night and got caught up in memories when the said track played. When he first started his practice, my father often accepted barter when his patients couldn’t afford treatment. One man brought in a couple jars of Tupelo honey from his own beehives. Naturally, when I heard this story a couple years ago, I asked my dad how it tasted. “Sweet,” he said. When my pal T’s father opened a cram school thirty years ago, many of his students came from poor families, so he also accepted fresh produce or other various goods as payment. That’s so cool. When I think of how…

I just reviewed a technical journal describing recent work-related accidents in our industry (electronics manufacturing) and came across an incident I coincidentally heard about from another source a few weeks ago. Last month, a manager at a (whatever) factory blew his stack at a worker who was welding together a steel support during factory expansion. He tore this guy a new asshole and made some threats, and told the worker to complete the job before he returned. The job wasn’t finished when he came back, so manager dude decides he’s gonna show the worker how to do the job right… Except he had no formal certification for welding (and thus…

Due to unforseen circumstances, I just spent a whole half an hour 43 minutes supervising forklifts loading a huge truck with our products. You may recall that this is not one of my areas of specialty. Or it wasn’t until today, at least. Now that I can add Forklift Supervisor to my resume, I just might be able to relax a little and can die knowing I am a true leader of… operators. Plus, it was highly educational. I learned that oncoming traffic respects vehicles with sharp-pointed steel arms protruding from the front. I also learned that the bald, white rubber tires on forklifts combined with a smooth concrete floor…

Thou art a vile pimple on the arse of humanity, yet it pains to smite thee thusly… Were it not for the heinous afflictions suffered unto thine colleagues, thou might err justly on the side of righteousness and bear forgivance! But… Two separate incidents marked with the same gross display of incompetence in the space of a fortnight? Woe! Woe, I say! A pox upon thee! …

The guy I work across from, Angry Hiro, spent the whole day teaching a particularly inept vendor a lesson by yelling at them on the phone for ten hours straight. I am currently trying to recall the funniest combinations of “dumbass,” “dipshit,” and “fuckhead,” and spent most of the day cracking up with my coworkers. Angry Hiro even used our amusement to belittle them, holding up the receiver and yelling shit like, “Do you hear that? They’re laughing at YOU! ASSHOLES!” In between bouts, he was popping these little white pills like mad and wiping sweat off his brow with this gaudy brown-and-black checkered hanky embossed with a Chanel logo.…

Sender: Justin Yoshida Subject: razor blades bring them to work. It’s not what you think, whatever that is. I want to use them to improvise cutting blades for a Thompson cutting machine. In other news, I am off for eight days starting in approximately one hour. Do you have any idea how long the next 60 minutes will seem? In case I forget about the internet for a while, Happy New Year to you all!