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All Dressed Up But Nowhere to Whore
I’m on another business trip. It’s late, I’m sweaty. In a suit. Wasted from a day of picking up on the subtle nuances of Japanese corporate doublespeak, flipping the sentences…
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Adventures in Soy
What is Nigari? Nigari is a liquid extract left over from the processing of tofu. Nigari is rich in minerals and is claimed to be an excellent dietary supplement. Supposedly,…
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Typhoons # 18 and 19
The company is making us go home at an unprecedented 2:00 in the afternoon so you just know we are in for a real beating. I haven’t been this happy…
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Get your crack pipes here!
I thought this kind of shit only happened in Amsterdam: WRHA hands out free crack pipes Crack fiends are people too, eh?
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Please, Make the Bad Man Go Away
So I’m on a coffee break and the guy next to me says, out of the blue, “I wonder how many legs you can pull off a centipede without impeding…
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“Value for Customs Purpose Only”
Back at work this week. What can I say. It’s wonderful – my coworkers are courteous and professional, and management is sincere and warmhearted. I’d much rather be here catching…
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My coworkers adore me
They really do. I confirmed it today when they forgot to tell me about the “lithium leak” drill scheduled in the office next door. What happens is, well, they simulate…
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A kokeshi is a wooden doll or a dildo, depending on the context
This week is marked by extraordinarily hot weather. I think the French heat wave that melted the cheese and boiled the wine in 2003 decided on a Japanese vacation this…
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English by Elimination
Conversation between me and my boss 5 minutes ago: /// Boss: Mr. Justin, what is deductive reasoning? Me: [Heh] Well, let us start with what it isn’t. It isn’t a…
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The Inferno Begins
Sweat is dripping down from my scalp, running over the back of my neck, and soaking my uniform’s collar. The sunlight is so intense today that it’s hard to look…
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Set-tripping and the Art of Parts Procurement
Mondays. I fucking hate Mondays. I am muttering this weekly mantra as I walk into a meeting with a problematic vendor yesterday morning. After greetings, bowing, and the compulsory 30…
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Stench
I figured it was about time to really let you know my feelings about your bowels… There is definitely something wrong with them. Today I walked into the men’s restroom…