One of the primary reasons I stayed in Japan to work (instead of going back to the states) after graduating university was that I wanted to learn business Japanese. When I first came to this country, I was completely immersed in a Japanese environment, on my uncle’s church out in Asuka Mura. It’s in a very rural area. I saw other gaijin maybe once every couple weeks or so, usually they were visiting the ancient tombs for which the town is famous. So I went through some heavy culture shock and it was tough, but it helped prepare me for Japanese classes at Tenri University. The Japanese studies program, which…

When I was a kid I used to make miniature gladiator rings in my backyard by digging a ring in the hard-packed dirt and filling it with water, so the gladiators inside the ring could not escape. The gladiators, of course, were ants, because ants are just badass. I used to hold these fights between red ants and black ants, in a ratio of about 10:1 because the red ants were so much bigger and stronger. The black ants basically acted like a bunch of sissies until the red ants started tearing them apart – then the group mind thing would kick in, and the black ants would swarm the…

Sometimes I just get stuck writing when I’m writing something. I really hate when that happens. I start twiddling and tweaking, and in the end I’m just sick of the whole goddamn thing. I’m not one to tear up manuscripts and throw hissy fits, but ya know… Sometimes I just feel like repopulating the earth with dyspepsic dyspeptic otters so I won’t be compelled to comment to anyone, about anything, and WHAT THE HELL IS THIS INFERNAL ITCHING IN MY HEAD? Monday, Monday, la-la la la-la…

I know I have one pal in Japan who understands The Cure. I know I have two friends in France who understand The Cure. I know I have have one friend in Costa Rica who understands The Cure. I have too many friends in the states who understand The Cure. And I thought of them all tonight as I posted this: A Forest (Fuck Robert Palmer Version)

Taro, you need this.

I dreamt of speaking with an Indian chief over a campfire. Unfortunately, it was not an Indian fire, but a “white man’s fire,” and it drew our enemies in closer and closer with its absurd largeness. They were taking potshots at us. Hurriedly, the chief passed onto me a buffalo horn and said simply, “you will know what to do with it.” Then he started singing: Hayayayayigh See my arrows fly Hayayayayigh Over and over and over. An arrow pierced his heart, and he passed into the next world, content. I was left holding the buffalo horn. // The thing is, I know this song from my childhood, but I…

Sunday, in the early morning hours, I had a dream so very real that I woke up in a cold sweat. I was riding on the Shinkansen from Los Angeles to Mexico (the first sign that this was a dream, which I realized even as I was having it) with my family. The other people on the train were mostly migrant workers, returning to their homes from a hard day in the fields. A few of them played cards on the floor, taking swigs from warm cans of Tecate and a dirty bottle of mezcal. They were kind of loud and obnoxious as drunken card-playing migrant workers on trains tend…

This week seems to be List Week for some reason. This one’s from Osaka Bill: 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.” 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify…

Originally by Dave Barry, I believe, but mailed to me from a friend in Singapore. Universal truths are indeed universal: 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.” 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby,” and, “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours. 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories,…

…has been postponed for the time being in lieu of: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Celebrations started early this year, and I have one last party to get to before the night is over. I’ve completely recovered from the heatstroke/food poisoning/mid-life crisis barfing thing the other day, so thanks to all those who wrote. Nam performed Thai dance at the Awaji Westin today, perhaps for the last time, and I took around 500 photos with my new DSLR, so I’ll be posting about that soon. Until then, Justin Yoshida I King of Awaji Island and Benefactor of Surrounding Territories