Chuppies

A friend in marketing taught me this term the other day.
Chuppies = Chinese yuppies.
They are the next trendsetters.
God save us all.
My friend says anyone who is anyone in his field will give his left nut to be a major player in this demographic. Me? I went to school with Chuppies, only we didn’t call them that then. We called them sneaky, lying assholes with a twisted sense of Confucianism. Of course, we were just stupid kids, so….

Rhymes with "complaining"

Go check out this
AV Club interview with Matt Groening.

AVC: Do you think a Life In Hell cartoon would have taken off the way The Simpsons did?
MG: I think human beings probably resonate with audiences more than bunnies, but who knows? One of these days, I’ll get around to animating Life In Hell. I still draw it every week, been doing that for the last 25 years. I’m just now putting together, for the first time, Life In Hell toys. Yes, I’m finally selling out.

My favorite Life in Hell strip is the one where Akbar is on his deathbed confessing how he’s been peeing in the bathroom sink all these years. Since I’m too lazy to find it online, here’s one with Binky:

(click to enlarge)
BONUS LINK: The “Akbar” font that mimics Matt Groening’s handwriting

Dyson

Although this will possibly incur the wrath of a million brand loyal housewives brandishing curtain brush attachments, I must speak my mind: “The vacuum cleaner that doesn’t lose suction” is the worst slogan of a successful company I have heard in recent memory.

  • It is immediately apparent to all that see this tagline that what Dyson is actually trying to convey is that his products “suck harder than a $600 hooker” (which conveniently implies all the other cleaners in this price range are whores as well).
  • By the same logic, Long Dong Silver was “the actor who never lost fuction.”
  • A quick search online shows around a 70% approval rating from Dyson owners. Less than I would have thought from all the hype. Or maybe more, actually.
  • One cool thing about Dyson – I saw on a TV show where he got the idea for a transparent dust reservoir. He was in a product planning meeting and saw one of his team members blow his nose, then look at what he had blown into the tissue before crumpling it up – “see,” he said, “everybody likes looking at what they cleaned up.” That fucking rocks.
  • This middle-of-the-night rant was brought to you courtesy of Justin, “the guy who never scratches when playing pocket pool.”

sorry, i'm stupid

You know those situations where you refrain from explaining something to somebody because you don’t think they’ll get it, then they turn out to understand it better than you do and you’re too embarassed to admit that you didn’t think they were capable of understanding it to begin with, which is already apparent to them anyway?
It makes you just want to go hide in a corner somewhere, especially if you kind of like that person… But sometimes it’s nice to confirm you’re just an asshole, like everybody else around you.