Author: Justin

Concentration Time Liveblogging

Wow. Talk about killing the party vibe, dude – the old man ain’t even here today! He wussed out and went on a trip or something, so our protesting stunts are kind of pointless… Yet it’s funny to mock the lauded Concentration Time even in his absence, so the office is a flurry of activity right now.
People are talking loudly on the phones about totally nonsense shit, having group discussions from across the office, and the guy next to me is singing (softly, granted, but still…). I, myself, drank a liter of water during lunch and have gone to the head three times in the past twenty minutes. Just doing my part, you know. Because my ultimate goal is to someday be told to hold it, at which point I will whip it out and shower thee golden, I swear.
By the way, the official length of Concentration Time has already been shortened – it now runs from 1:00 to 2:40PM. It will be interesting to see if my Japanese comrades still show the same audacity tomorrow or whenever the old man gets back. All I know is that I’m having a liter of water with lunch for the foreseeable future; this is too much fun.
DOWN WITH CONCENTRATION TIME, I SAY! DOWN!

Americans in Japan, Rejoice!

They were selling Dr. Pepper at FamilyMart today! We have been waiting for this moment since… well, since the end of the war, I guess. This is truly a milestone in Japanese-American relations, especially since the majority of Japanese think Dr. Pepper tastes like Chinese herbal medicine.
Just in case you were wondering:
Yes, there is a cheesy Flash site to commemorate this great event.
UPDATE: TODAY’S MOMENT OF ZEN
peppy.jpg
Peppy, ex-Harajuku girl/Dr. Pepper “freak”

whereupon, I rant.

I’ve put up with the various quirks and idiosyncrasies common to westerners working in corporate Japan for quite some time now and I think I’ve done very well, overall. But today I came this close to blowing my stack, just going COMPLETELY FUCKING NUTS, in front of the whole office, because MOST JAPANESE ADULTS ARE ACTUALLY JUST (SLIGHTLY) OVERGROWN CHILDREN… Ahh, now I feel much better with that off my chest.
So what set me off? (this time)
Our senior manager, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to enstate a “concentration period” from 12:25 to 2:40 PM every day, when we will not be allowed to leave our desks except to get printouts or use the CAD room. He specifically stated we could not talk, use the phone, or go to the restroom during this period. He says this is to raise the efficiency of this office. #@!”#””$#%!(‘(&%(%@”!!#%!! (motherfucker, say what?)
This rule goes into effect tomorrow.
I have already announced to my supervisor that I will take a piss whenever I damn well please, and asked how fucking old everyone in this office is that we have to be told when we can or can’t leave our FUCKING SEATS TO GET WORK DONE. I mean, give me a fucking break (and give me a fucking KitKat), how the fuck do you fucking expect us to be fucking competetive with other fucking electronics companies when you fuck us with these fucking stupid-ass rules and meaningless fucking exercises in fucking assfuckery?
But that’s not all, there’s a punchline to this fucking joke: At the end of his announcement, our great leader proudly announced that he got this brilliant idea from a television program he saw last week.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA!

Quick Reviews 2005/5/23

Monday, oh Monday, thou art an unwelcome punch in the face.
Some quick reviews just for the hell of it:
MUSIC:
– AUDIOSLAVE, Out of Exile: 7.98/10 stars || awesome guitar; chris cornell remains god.
– GORILLAZ, Demon Days : 7.14/10 stars || nice beats but lost some funky cheese?
MOVIES:
– REVENGE OF THE SITH: 5.95/10 stars || reaffirmed that papa vader is, indeed, a big raging asshole.
– HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE: 6.23/10 stars || bonus points for the “twinkie” reference (banana, anyone?) and cameo by the patron saint of bloggers, neil patrick harris
TV:
– THE WEST WING SEASON 4: 8.16/10 stars || even dems hate frogs
– THE SHIELD SEASON 4: 8.79/10 stars || not even halfway through the season but kicking serious ass
MY NEIGHBORS:
– CRAZY OLD LONELY LADY: 6.54/10 stars || makes like ZERO noise next door; makes me worry that she’s dead sometimes, but otherwise seems really nice
– LITTLE SHITS NEXT DOOR: 1.02/10 stars || learn how to say “konnichiwa” back to the nice gaijin already you spoiled little brats

Hidden Costs

As I blogged a few weeks ago, my faithful refrigerator suddenly died, and I have since been experimenting on living without one. You see, a dead refrigerator, TV, A/C, or washing machine has become a major pain in the ass to get rid of in Japan. Since last March or so, new legislation prohibits us putting out such major appliances on Big Trash day. There isn’t even a junkyard or recycle center we can dump such items off at (in my city, at least). The main thing preventing me from getting a new refrigerator was, in fact, figuring out what to do with the old one.
As it turns out, this particular problem is solved like almost any other serious one encountered in Japan:
A. The proper way, with lots of paperwork and money, or
B. The sneaky way, AKA The Gaijin Way, which usually entails bending or flagrantly shitting all over the law
So those that know me well may be surprised to learn that I filled out all the forms for the privilege of paying more than 7,000 yen ($70) in pick-up and recycling fees for my dead refrigerator, and it’s not even a full-sized model! The fees don’t take size or weight into account, only the manufacturer (the sign at the electronics store where I went to fill out the forms said that models made by certain manufacturers cost 1,000+ yen more to recycle). Of course, my only other option to actually ponying up the cash to “recycle” my broken chilly fucker was to illegally dump it, which never would have bothered me in, say, the Osaka slums or in back of my old university, where it would have rusted into oblivion without ever bothering anybody. Back home in SoCal, a single phone call would have summoned a crew of orange-vested immigrants on a beat up truck with county tags to take away any old appliance for free. Hell, in Bangkok I could put it out on the curb and it would be gone (for real recycling) in less than an hour, I’m sure. But I live on a beautiful island right now, and somehow, it made me think twice before loading it up to deep six somewhere.
So basically, the cost entailed with my act of environmental responsibility was around $70. I’m still trying to figure out if it was worth it… In a way, I feel fucking played by the government again, I tell you. I want to know exactly how this fridge is going to be “recycled.” Maybe it was a stupid decision – by the number of appliances I see dumped up in the hills around here, I can tell you that many of my neighbors sure think so… In a truly just world, my children would grow up around dolphins and wildflowers, and my neighbors would live in a polluted world of nighmarish leaked-biotoxin nuclear winterlike suffocation, but be $70 richer.