Month: June 2005

I mean, is the guy hard up for cash, or what? I sure as hell couldn’t forgive him back in 1994 for whoring Nikita out to Hollywood for an effortlessly crapalicious remake starring Bridget Fonda, and titled, most appropriately, “Point of No Return” (presumably referring to the instant a person bought a ticket to see this shitfest at the theater). But now he’s really gone and done it with the US remake of his car-action masterpiece, Taxi.
For fuck’s sake, this is the movie that inspired me to request a white Peugeot 406 at Charles De Gaulle airport (and do multiple doughnuts in the parking lot in protest when all they had was a turbocharged Opel Vectra)! This is the movie that prompted me to drive from Mimizan to San Sebastian at the speed of holy shit! and make people in the backseat gasp quite audibly! In exhilaration, no doubt! And pass several cops on the way! After having a nice breakfast of wine and sangria!
…OK, maybe you should not see this movie if you like driving.
…And you definitely do not want to see the Hollywood remake of it. Unless your idea of a fast car is a Ford Crown Victoria, that is. I shit you not, in Taxi:NYC (its title overseas), the white 406 is replaced by a yellow Crown Vic. With blowers and a bunch of other shit copied from the original movie which can apparently enable a Crown Vic to outrun a custom BMW 760. Um, no. This movie, this premise, is just wrong. WRONG I SAY! DAMN YOU LUC BESSON! A POX ON YOU AND THE MERDE THAT FILLS YOUR VERY BEING! MAY A THOUSAND UNSHAVED FEMALE ARMPITS BEAR AUSPICIOUS LICE TO FILL YOUR LYING MOUTH!
Also:
FREEDOM FRIES, MOTHERFUCKER!