The Crown is running better than it ever has before. The problem wasn’t the alternator. It was missing six little spring-loaded push pins that bridge the tops of the spark plugs with the coil packs.
Having this fixed after trying to figure it out for two years is indescribably liberating.
The other car is still in the shop, awaiting new boots for the right side A-arm. Today is the king’s birthday, so everything is closed; repairs will continue tomorrow.