Luc Besson is a fucking sell out

I mean, is the guy hard up for cash, or what? I sure as hell couldn’t forgive him back in 1994 for whoring Nikita out to Hollywood for an effortlessly crapalicious remake starring Bridget Fonda, and titled, most appropriately, “Point of No Return” (presumably referring to the instant a person bought a ticket to see this shitfest at the theater). But now he’s really gone and done it with the US remake of his car-action masterpiece, Taxi.
For fuck’s sake, this is the movie that inspired me to request a white Peugeot 406 at Charles De Gaulle airport (and do multiple doughnuts in the parking lot in protest when all they had was a turbocharged Opel Vectra)! This is the movie that prompted me to drive from Mimizan to San Sebastian at the speed of holy shit! and make people in the backseat gasp quite audibly! In exhilaration, no doubt! And pass several cops on the way! After having a nice breakfast of wine and sangria!
…OK, maybe you should not see this movie if you like driving.
…And you definitely do not want to see the Hollywood remake of it. Unless your idea of a fast car is a Ford Crown Victoria, that is. I shit you not, in Taxi:NYC (its title overseas), the white 406 is replaced by a yellow Crown Vic. With blowers and a bunch of other shit copied from the original movie which can apparently enable a Crown Vic to outrun a custom BMW 760. Um, no. This movie, this premise, is just wrong. WRONG I SAY! DAMN YOU LUC BESSON! A POX ON YOU AND THE MERDE THAT FILLS YOUR VERY BEING! MAY A THOUSAND UNSHAVED FEMALE ARMPITS BEAR AUSPICIOUS LICE TO FILL YOUR LYING MOUTH!
Also:
FREEDOM FRIES, MOTHERFUCKER!

6 Replies to “Luc Besson is a fucking sell out”

  1. Hi-ya Justin,
    I have put you in the bigblogzooo at http://www.bigblogzoo.com under the category:
    Top/Computers/Internet/On_the_Web/Weblogs/Personal/C
    I would like to invite you to try the new folksonomy feature. If you add your blog to the animal world it then lists it on the home page. You could also write a wiki entry to publicise your blog, or mention it in the safari lodge.
    regards
    kent

  2. It cracks me up when you get all hissy at the frenchies about crappy re-makes of cult movies, but it’s way better than when you drive here in the states and forget to stay on the right side of the road!! Especially when making left-hand turns into oncoming semi’s!….and then you laugh hysterically like a rabid hyena. Scary stuff, man!

  3. Amen to that.
    The man has long become a disgrace to his former shadow of a talent. And that from someone who still has the theater-size original billboard poster for Nikita in his bedroom wall as we speak.
    Though I dare hope he didn’t even have the slightest say in that dreadful turd of an adaptation, other than deciding how many zeroes… But even most of his other productions are quite shitty these days. To say nothing of his directions…
    Bah, he’s done for.

  4. Kevin,
    Well, there again: I’m starting to wonder if he ever had any real talent in the first place… I mean, I dunno, some unknown genius probably showed up and dropped a pre-filmed version of Nikita on his frontstep and ran away… then did the same again with Leon/the Professional a few years later…
    ’cause everything in between and ever since has been pretty sub-par…

  5. Well, at least it can be said that his best was pretty damn good… I almost feel like the same could be said for Jean Reno. BTW, the director’s cut of Leon was awesome! Was there a director’s cut of Nikita?

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