Found an article from last month that hit close to home: Competition stiffens to work oneself to death Let Salaryman tell you something about dedication: Too much can kill, and blind dedication is either for the young, or for well-paid upper management. Even in these two cases, there is only so much you can accomplish before you break down. With that in mind, keep it real and work your ass off. By playing your cards right, your investment of time and life energy will eventually be returned in the form of work experience and maybe a nice watch (standard-issue salaryman bling-bling). Ulcers. Yes, it seems everybody has them around here.…

Lying on my desk is a document entitled: Lohms vs. Orifice Size I don’t know who put it there, but apparently I get to make a presentation on it later this morning. in Japanese! Yay! Welcome to the modern state of technical translation, where a total ignoramus like myself can hop on the Al Gore Expressway and become an expert on any specialized subject matter in a matter of seconds – and before you ask, no, a Lohm is not a penis (but an orifice is, well, an orifice). A Lohm is a Liquid ohm – get it? Ohms are units used to express electrical resistance, so morphazenilinguistically speaking, Lohms…

There’s just nothing like taking a long vacation overseas and then facing up to that first day back at work, is there? The night before is spent wondering just how in the hell you will face up to the horrors you have been so diligently erasing from memory in faraway lands, on magic beaches… Today is my second day back, and I feel lucky to have made it this far; on my way to work yesterday I was possessed by the sudden urge to pass the turnoff for the company parking lot and get on the highway instead, destination Anywhere but Here. I think the sight of the big company…

Oh yeah, it’s my favorite time of the week, every week: The Friday Work Wind-down Period. This is the period that my employers should take special care not to speak to me or expect me to function in any other mode than Weekend Anticipation Mode. Unfortunately, some stateside clients feel it is necessary to shoot nasty thorns in my high spirits with their Thursday Angst Specials, but there’s a cure for that, son – leave the mail unopened and claim there were “network problems on Friday” when you return to work next week! It’s only fair because I just got the same excuse from the clients themselves! They claim it…

Sometimes working in a factory office with constipated old men really has its downs. I have been waiting to take a crap for a couple of hours now. Its not that there are no stalls free – in fact, I could have been done with my business two hours ago if that were the only concern. The big problem is the stench. The stench that even I, the veteran of a thousand outhouses ripened by the summer sun and open pits at outdoor concerts, the back of temples, etc., cannot bear for more than two seconds. I wish there were a menu especially geared for those over 45 years of…