About six years ago, I was attacked by a Malaysian Sun Bear. I had gone on a school trip to the mountains, and at one of the scenic viewpoints, there was a dirty cage with a juvenile sun bear in it. Tourists were feeding it chips and bottled soy milk and whatever shit they had with them, and it was really just a shitty experience overall. But I, like every other asshole around, was entranced by the bear, and held a banana through the steel fencing for a second too long. The bear came around and swiped the banana out of my hand, and one of his claws brushed the top of my…