Bad Baby Names

So I have this female coworker, right? She’s off for a year on maternity leave now, but she has been working at the company from before I joined, and we’ve always been tight. She’s always had my back, and I have hers, too. So it kills me to say this, but she has given the stupidest name to her newborn baby boy, and that’s kind of unforgivable in my book.
The name? “Shishimaru.” The kanjis used are for “lion” and “circle.” (I dare not write it in Japanese cuz this page will surely float to the top of the search results – for now filled with pets and monster movies named “shishimaru”)
That kid is SO gonna get his assed kicked in school. Hell, even the retarded kids will be taking his lunch money. Bad parents! Shame on you!
So what’s the worst baby name you’ve ever heard?

11 thoughts on “Bad Baby Names

  1. I work next to the family abuse section at the prosecutor’s office, and I’ve heard some fkd-up names, including:
    Gee (middle name: Money) (No shit)
    Martini
    Ferocious
    China
    Jayrod
    There are more. So many more.

  2. If you are going to name a kid after food, there is only one that is acceptable.
    ‘Angus’
    Angus is the greatest name in the history of names. There is nothing more honorable than naming your kid after a cow.
    It just rolls off your tongue…AAAAngggus.
    awesome.

  3. in elementary and middle school, there was a mentally handicapped boy named Nimrod…..Adam probably made fun of him, but I’d never do such a thing…

  4. These babies do grow into larger organisms. Richard Stilhard was good – and then there is the legend of Benjamin Joe. This Chinese fella never knew what hit him when he got to Jr. High school.

  5. I told a Japanese friend about this name tonight and even two minutes afterward he was still laughing so hard beer came out of his nose.

  6. The worst part is, I’m going to go visit them this weekend, and I have to keep a straight face the whole time.
    Yesterday, another coworker was wondering out loud what they would have named the child if it had been a girl. I quipped, “Shishimaruko!”
    Even our bucho was busting up on that one.

  7. I don’t know if anyone will actually believe it but there really was a kid in my neighborhood growing up named Mike Hunt his older brother William was my age. Had to be the cruelest name in English I’ve ever heard.
    In Korean though there are a thousand and one names that should be outlawed. I work with a guy name 고환일 (GoHwanil) and 고환 (GoHwan) means testicles. It’s not uncommon for people to be named 성기 (Seong-gi). 성기 (Seong-gi) means genitals. The 漢字 for the names is different but it sounds exactly the same. I feel for people that have this name. They’re parents must have not been thinking at all.

  8. I hope you can keep a straight face while you’re visiting. I don’t know what parents are thinking when they come up with names for their children. I just wrote an article on my blog on this very subject. Feel free to visit and post a comment.

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