Month: November 2004

The wonders of charcoal filtration as applied to bargain-bin vodka: Practical Applications of the Philosopher?s stone
Now the real question is, can the same principle be applied to screw-top wines? As far as I can tell, Japanese wine exists mainly for the “hopeless loser trying to impress a date” market.

D.M.C.:
You, jump, watch you clock, while I rock your spot
I’m better known to the world as the King of Rock
I like to speak my piece when I’m on the mic
I’m the best, or at least, I’m the one you like
And when I serve you deserve to hear what I say
I throw a curve he got the nerve to make a triple play
Now how devestating can an MC be?
My name is Darryl, but you can call me D,
HIT IT RUN!
(cue beatboxing)
//
PROBLEM:
Through a miracle of modern science, you were reincarnated as a pioneer of rap, called all your friends together for a showdown with your archrival, but then forgot to invite Biz Markie? Doug E. Fresh couldn’t make it? And Rahzel called you wack?
SOLUTION

Here at the School, we like to keep tabs on notable places of worship that spring up around the web. These people are carrying the faith to new heights: RICE IS LIFE
Excerpts:
– Almost 3,000 million people share the culture, traditions, and untapped potentials of rice.
Three thousand million sure sounds like an awful lot… I think they forgot to carry the decimal when converting from yen or something.
– Even in nations “new to rice”, its cultivation has changed landscapes…
This is probably a reference to the proliferation of lowered Toyota Camrys in nations that know no better (as opposed to those who do know better but lower them anyways).
– Along the Senegal River in West Africa, villagers greet guests with specially prepared rice dishes.
In professional forums, we refer to those dishes as “chrome hubcaps.”
– In short, rice is life.
Amen, brothers.

Microsoft’s best cheap shot at Google, utilizing their new (Improved! Economy-sized! 20% more inside, free!) search engine, is unsurprisingly lame:
more evil than satan
How original.
I see msn search is integrating reference answers with Web-page results. Gee, looks vaguely familiar, doesn’t it?
In other news, Hotmail (who graciously decided to disable my account and erase my message archives spanning over five years for no good reason) has upped the usage limit to 250MB (someone must have realized that the previous single digit limit was – how do you say – oh, that’s right, a fucking joke). Oh, well, without the comfort of the Gates mothership, I guess I’ll just stumble along blindly with this “GMail” thingy then… Wait. What’s that? They enabled free POP access you say?
Maybe I’ll be OK after all. Whew.