my reply

Ahmed,
As we say here in the land of Nyorai, the price of urgent financial dealings is 50% and non-negotiable.
Time, Love, and Tenderness,
C. Buddha
P.S. Please call me CB. Justin Yoshida is the name I use for this mortal shell.

urgent

FROM:MR AHMED SALEH
THE MANAGER,
UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA,
ALABA INT’L BRANCH,
3 AGUDOSI ST
LAGOS-NIGERIA.
Sir,
I am pleased to get across to you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal, though I don’t know you neither have I seen you before but my confidence was reposed on you when the Chief Executive of Lagos State chamber of Commerce and Industry handed me your contact for a confidential business.
I am the manager of United Bank for Africa Plc (UBA), Alaba Int’l branch,Lagos Nigeria. The intended business is thus; we had a customer, a Foreigner resident in Nigeria, he was a Contractor with one of the Government Parastatals. He has in his Account in my branch the sum of US$12.5 Million (Twelve million,five hundred thousand U.S Dollars).Unfortunately, the man died four years ago until today non-of his next of kin has come forward to claim the money.
Having noticed this, I in collaboration with one other top Official of the bank covered up the account all this while. Now we want you (being a foreigner) to be fronted as one of his next of kin of the deceased and forward all the necessary information to be advised to you by us to attest to the Claim.
We will use our positions to get all internal documentation to back up the claims. The whole procedures will last only ten working days to get the fund retrieved successfully without trace even in future. Your response is only what we are waiting for as we have put all machineries that will be instrumental to the success of the transaction in motion.
As soon as this message comes to you kindly get back to me indicating your interest, with your telephone and fax number then I will furnish you with the whole procedures to ensure that the deal is successfully Concluded. For your assistance, we have agreed in principle to offer you 30% of the total sum at the end of the transaction.
It is risk free and a big mega fortune. All correspondences towards this transaction will be through telephone and e-mail. I await your earliest response.
Thanks,
Yours Sincerely,
MR. AHMED SALEH
Email: ah_saleh84@yahoo.com

Re: urgent
Mr. Ahmed Saleh,
I am very interested in your proposal, but considering the risks I must insist on 50% of the total big mega fortune. If you can agree to this counter-proposal, please respond to this message with your phone and fax number.
Is this offer for real? I could really use the cash since I spend most of my days converting ignorance and bewilderment into the wisdom of primordial awareness/universal lawfulness…
Best Regards,
C. Buddha
UPDATE: Damn, they already got him.

Site News Redux

For whatever reason you are here (for instance, if I have spammed you), welcome! The entire Cosmic Buddha site is under heavy construction, and work is being done incrementally on the static pages as well as on all weblogs hosted here. I’m working as fast as my schedule allows (read: very slowly), but my isn’t that boring to read about!
The static pages are quite old but still get a lot of hits from people looking for free kimono pics (the joke is on you, I took them all down!). I am working on installing image galleries again, and will let you know when they are up.
In addition to this main blog (weblog) I also update a moblog (mobile weblog) from my cellphone fairly regularly. You can visit it here:
http://www.cosmicbuddha.com/moblog/
Until I installed Movable Type on this hosted site, I did a lot of writing using outside web tools (namely Blogger and Yapeus) here:
http://cosmicbuddha.com/tempblog/
http://yapeus.com/users/cosmicbuddha/
That about covers the scope of my online ego at this point. I used to manage some corporate sites but blahblahblah blahblah blahblahblahblahblah…
Please visit often.
Ah, also – you can email me at:
j(AT)cosmicbuddha.com

Matrix Reloaded

Indeed.
I liked it.
There was one cheesy edit in the “Big Fight” sequence (when Smith first replicates). It was when Neo defies the law of everything and slides on his back to escape the 87th time. Even though it only lasted a second, it remained an indelible stain on the rest of the movie like the “Legolas Railslide” in The Two Towers or the Chow Yun “sliding between legs w/M-16” move from the car wash scene in Replacement Killers.
Funny that his being able to fly didn’t bother me at all.

Hanshin Tigers Tidbit

One of the more interesting stories concerning the Hanshin Tigers victory this year (so far they have won the Central League chamionships and will play for the Japan Series title later this month) is one I overheard at work. Apparently, this story was seen on TV, reported by TV star Sonomama Higashi, and regards the victory jumps into the Dotombori river by rabid Hanshin fans in Osaka when they won the Central League title.
As you may already know, there was one fatality among the jumpers, a guy who was pushed into the river and died of shock/drowning. There were several injuries as well, not the least common of which can be attributed to the fact that the Dotombori River is notoriously polluted and the water is very probably harmful if swallowed. The river has been polluted by upstream manufacturing for centuries, and is a sluggish, murky cesspool even during the brightest hours of the day.
For some reason, it has always attracted idiots who jump into it to celebrate something, or more commonly, to reaffirm manhood. In a very typical digression I must mention here that I had a classmate at university named Asada (as in Carne) whose hobby it was to strip down butt-nekkid, wrestle with bystanders and the police who oversee the bridge in question (Ebisu-bashi AKA Nampa-bashi due to the pick-up artists who hang out there), then jump into the river to “escape”. He was arrested multiple times for this stunt, and had friends videotape these escapades. I remember seeing one of these tapes; maybe Dave still has a copy…
Unless you read Japanese, you may not be aware that there was plan launched by the fan of a rival team to harm Hanshin fans, in anticipation of the Hanshin win and the celebratory river-jumping. Apparently, he released some piranhas and a small alligator into the the river, near the bridge the night before. The punchline is that the piranhas quickly perished and floated up to the surface, and the alligator immediately swam to the other bank and escaped. And the next day, hundreds of Hanshin fans willingly dunked themselves in the same water.
When people say Hanshin fans are crazy, this may be the kind of thing they are talking about.
P.S. My first year in Japan I also wanted to jump into the river because I never saw anybody doing it and it was a hot summer day. My friend said if I touched that water, he wouldn’t let me ride in the car, so I refrained. Heh.

Must. Have. Chill. Pill.

Well, my Yapeus account is toast it seems. The admin hosed everybody’s moblog data, although they have a backup from September. I’m very glad I decided to consolidate all my bloggage with MT.
Regarding this site, I’m still having trouble with the design, mainly because I can’t spare a full day or two to tweak the way I like to – straight through in a single session, that is.
On another note, today my manager pissed me off so bad I fantasized about… with a… but instead of giving into my anger like a baaad padawan I thought about my happy place and sang the Happy Tree Friends song in my head and then silently dissented by going home early.
But I’m much better now.