Animal Farm

With help from the shizzolator, might old Major have been more of an inspiration to the Panthers?
Shizzolate that shit:
“Now, comrades, what is da nature of dis life a ours? Let us face that shiznit:
izzle lives are miserable, laborious, ‘n short n’ shit. We are born, we are given just so much food as will keep da breath in izzle bodies, ‘n those of us who are capable of that shiznit are forced work da last atom of izzle strength; ‘n da hella instant that izzle usefulness has come an end we are slaughtered wit hideous cruelty.” No animal in England knows da meaning of happiness or leisure after tha dude is a year old.” No animal in England is free.” The life of an animal is misery ‘n slavery: that is da plain truth.”
“But is this simply part of da order of nature? Is that shiznit because this land of ours is so poor that that shiznit cannot afford a decent life those who dwell upon that shiznit? No, comrades, a thousand times no! The soil of England is fertile, its climate is gravy, that shiznit is capable of affording food in abundance an enormously greater number of animals than now inhabit that shiznit, know what I’m sayin’? This single farm of ours would support a dozen horses, twenty cows, hundreds of sheep–‘n izzall of ’em living in a comfort ‘n a dignity that are now almost beyond izzle imagining n’ shit. Why then do we continue in this miserable condition? Because nearly da whole of da produce of izzle labour is stolen from us by human beings.” There, comrades, is da answer izzall izzle problems, know what I’m sayin’? It is summed up in a single word–Man, know what I’m sayin’? Man is da only real enemy we has n’ shit. Remove Man from da scene, ‘n da root cause of hunger ‘n overwork is abolished fo’ ever n’ shit.”

I’m so hooked on the shizzolator it’s not even funny. I know my dad will probably be using it for all his e-mails.

1 thought on “Animal Farm”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *