Dead to Rights Game Review

Even though I haven’t posted forever, I feel the burning need to warn fellow FPS enthusiasts about the PC game, Dead to Rights. I am very glad I “test drove” the “free” version (thank you, BitTorrent!) of this dreck before buying it. This is an X-Box title ported to PC, and it apparent in its blockiness, difficulty of use, and bloated code. The cracked version is 4 CDs in size! (The fourth CD contains only the crack.) Dude! This game is GAY! Better yet, this game is FAG! To summarize, Dead to Rights is GAYFAG (half of a star out of five, almost as bad as Cool Darts). On one of the earlier levels, you suddenly switch from the role of the main character, a dual .45 packin’ cop with attack dog, into an exotic dancer. I shit you not. You have to tap arrow keys to the rhythm indicated on screen to make the dancer on stage shake her ass in order to create a distraction and allow your main character to sneak by the bouncers in the club. GAY FAG! I can’t even begin to express how gay this gender-switching role made me feel. I am secure in my homophobia, let me tell you. By the end of the scene, I was looking for exotic dancers in the room just so I could shoot them and work off some steam while making that icky feeling go away.
So have I made myself clear? Only homos play this game. (I finished it in one night.)
Also, a general observation regarding this whole genre of games:
Mandatory “auto-aim” sucks! I understand it as an option for the console game crowd, but people who play FPS on the PC platform are more sophisticated than that (or at least most of us like to think so). I mean really, why the hell have a scoped rifle in the game if you can’t even use the scope and aim it by yourself?
/end nerdrant

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