Me not Chinese

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“If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese. It works!”
I totally had to pull the corner of my eyes as if I were Chinese. Is this conclusive evidence that the Japanese race evolved independently from the rest of the world (as people who drive black buses around urban centers blaring loud propaganda messages through speaker towers would want you to believe), or am I just a bad Asian?
(via Osaka bill)

King of Siam

You know what? The political situation in Thailand right now is confusing the hell out of me. From what I gather, another round of parliamentary elections was cancelled last weekend, and the king is like, stop screwing around. Oh, and also, stop trying to dump this mess in my lap.
You know what? His Majesty is really showing his smarts. The issue isn’t so much that using his constitutional rights to settle the issue would be partisan (specifically, anti-Thaksin), but that Thailand really needs an effective democratic solution. It isn’t too hard to imagine somebody else in the king’s position just doing the absolute minimum in a puppet role, so it’s very nice to see that he has the skills and the wisdom to match his power.
You know what’s even nicer? The government may be in semi-chaos right now, but it’s still safe to be there… That says a lot about the country and its people. Try that shit next door and there’d be tanks running over students on CNN.

Skype Tip

Here’s a handy tip for those of you using Skype: As you may know, when you are getting poor call quality, sometimes just hanging up and calling again will improve it. However, when this fails, try hanging up and setting your Skype status to Offline for at least 15 seconds before trying to call again (tech note: this apparently forces connection through a different supernode).
I read about this in a conference dedicated to the book, Skype Hacks, and just tried it the other day – it works!
By the way, if any of you want to chat on Skype sometime, my handle is, predictably, “cosmicbuddha”.
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Yellow Sand

I saw something pretty funny at the carwash last week. A young couple was washing their new yellow subcompact in the stall next to mine. The girl was scrubbing the hood of the car with a white rag and noticed it was picking up yellow specks, so showed it to the guy. “Stop!,” he exclaimed, and began inspecting the hood for damage. “This carwashing soap we bought is stripping the paint…”
When I told them it was just yellow sand from China, they looked at me like I was crazy. So I showed them my car, which is gunmetal grey and looks like a yellow-speckled trout after the rain dries on it every year around this time.

Bad Baby Names

So I have this female coworker, right? She’s off for a year on maternity leave now, but she has been working at the company from before I joined, and we’ve always been tight. She’s always had my back, and I have hers, too. So it kills me to say this, but she has given the stupidest name to her newborn baby boy, and that’s kind of unforgivable in my book.
The name? “Shishimaru.” The kanjis used are for “lion” and “circle.” (I dare not write it in Japanese cuz this page will surely float to the top of the search results – for now filled with pets and monster movies named “shishimaru”)
That kid is SO gonna get his assed kicked in school. Hell, even the retarded kids will be taking his lunch money. Bad parents! Shame on you!
So what’s the worst baby name you’ve ever heard?