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Violated by Nurse Naomi
Went to do the annual physical for work today. Came back with bruised needle tracks. It was frightening to watch this inexperienced nurse with sweaty, fumbly hands try to find a vein in my arms. I swear to god this chick was blind in a previous life, because she used that needle like a walking stick, tap tap tap on one arm and then the other. Frustrated by lack of success, she binded both my arms with surgical tubing at the same time and told me to open and close my hands and sit in a corner for a few minutes (bitch, my arms turned blue before you came back).…
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Say Wut?
You are a GRAMMAR GOD! If your mission in life is not already topreserve the English tongue, it should be.Congratulations and thank you! How grammatically sound are you? brought to you by Quizilla Um, as flattering as that is, I think this quiz is kinda sus. Aside from the fact that my English has acquired that unmistakably “Fresh Off the Boat” quality from living overseas for a decade, every single person whose results (I just mistyped that as “resluts”) I’ve seen have been “Grammar God.” I object to this title being passed out like penicillin ampules at a syphilis convention; it’s a stinging insult to my monotheistic way of life…
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Toyota Prius
After lengthy observation, I have come to a conclusion: In Japan, the Toyota Prius is a car marketed for a single demographic, namely, painfully slow drivers. I have never seen such a bunch of I-can’t-drive-55 brake tapping, hesitating, yellow light anticipating, slow-ass idiots. If this is the price us normal folk must pay to “save the environment,” I say we start a “Spit at the Prius” campaign in retribution. Seriously, the way these people drive really makes me wonder if there actually is a gasoline engine in there among the fields of capacitors and NiMH batteries. A Prius owner I recently spoke with affirmed his penchant for driving at Nader-like…
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Kikkoman
Posted at Nam’s request: Show Me, Show You The albino black sheep site it’s hosted on has a lot of interesting stuff on it, check it out. The site’s claim to fame is the famous google spoof , French military victories and its accompanying list of French military defeats.
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I 5uXX0r
Cruftety, cruftety, cruft. Anybody who comes here now can see how cruftily I have crufted together this site. I spent so much time on the css with no clue of what controlled what, I have ended up with a hodgepodge design. Still, I kind of like it but my inability to tweak the little places that need it is driving me insane. Of course, it might help if I spent more than ten minutes on it at a time, but then again maybe not.
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Apology to an ancient Sun Goddess
Dear Ama-chan, I am sorry that I called you a man. Please forgive me; as a typical male I automatically attribute spears, muddy work, and world creation to other men without thinking that it might be the work of a female. Please do not pout (it makes your eyes all puffy and swollen) and stay in your cave all year; rice is too expensive as it is. Love, Justin P.S. Here is a link to one of your other fans: “The rice does not grow without Her.” Update: I was apologizing for the wrong reason. While Amaterasu IS a female deity, Izanami was the one who did the spear work…
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Monster Island
The reference in my new top banner to monster island is not a reference to Godzilla or Mothra, but rather to the cats that insist on crapping in the vicinity of my car. Some friends in Nara insist on calling me, alternatively, “tamanegi-kun” (onion boy, a reference to the famously delicious onions grown here), or “the guy from monster island” (This is a reference to the fact that I live out in the boonies. Alas, ’tis like the pot calling the kettle cookware.) Also, not to be misleading, but the bridge in the photo is not the Awaji Kaikyo Bridge (the longest suspension bridge in the world connecting my island…
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Chanko
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Akashi Kaikyo Park
They have finally opened the grounds used for the Awaji Hanahaku (Flower Festival) in Y2K for public viewing again. It has been scaled down in size and now esists as a nice place to spend on a sunny day. The number of flower exhibits is much less than before, which is actually nice because it should keep down the number of tour buses trundling over the bridge during the summer. I took my girl and a couple of her visisting friends there today and fought against the dwindling sunlight to capture a few decent photos. I like how they turned out and have put them on a dedicated page because…
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Naked Sweaty Fat Men
Last night, I ordered tickets to the Nagoya Sumo Tournament in July for myself and 11 other lucky peeps (You can order Sumo tickets for any of the Nihon Sumo Kyokai-sanctioned tournaments through English language websites by following the links on the official page. For unsanctioned matches, visit any university judo dorm after the mat-burned, caulifower-eared judo-ka are done with their circle jerks and herd into the baths for communal back rubs.). It’s gonna be an OG-style Cosmic Buddha roadtrip! I think the last time we did one of these was back in college! Characteristically, we are still lacking a good bass player. No worries, though, we always find someone…
