In the Inbox (April 21, 2005)

“We all know the Pope was elected in utmost secrecy; the rooms they held the conclave were swept for bugs, special filtering was setup for radio waves and cell phones, etc… . But you want to know the real reason for all the secrecy and privacy? They’re in there with a bunch of little boys and they didn’t want to get caught…”
All you sick bastards make me so proud…

So much anger…

On behalf of my host country, I would like to extend an official apology to another nearby country:
SORRY! OUR BAD!
Now shut the fuck up and revise your own history books, you fucking commies! (and learn to throw rocks/eggs/bottles in a slightly more manly fashion while you’re at it!)
Between this Japan/China shit and the whole papal buttgasm, there’s hardly a slot for good old-fashioned car chases and Amber alerts on CNN, dammit!