Location, location, location

It’s always amusing to see columnists writing about places they’ve obviously never been: Clash of the superstores / Yamada Denki enters Osaka’s competitive electronics market
Basically, it’s hype like this that led us to take a trip down there yesterday. The night before was Adam’s birthday/farewell party in Umeda, and we stayed the night at a cheap hotel located in the illegalalienwhore district. As we all had some electronics shopping to do (a cranial implant here, a bionic limb augmentation there, you know, standard DenDen cyberware stuff), we decided to check out the vaunted new Yamada Denki complex (hereafter referred to as “Labia 1” – hey, they asked for it).
We arrived before 11 in the morning, only to face a bustling horde. Of sales staff. The place was deserted, as in, there were twice as many staff members as customers, which made for a truly annoying experience. The floor staff followed us around and incessantly offered to help with anything (“You looking to purchase LAN cable?”) until we wandered into the next area – where the next sales specialist was waiting (“Choosing the right mousepad is a critical life decision…”). Jesus.
To be that deserted exactly one month after opening day, on a weekend no less, is not a good sign. I predict this place will close in a few years, after several key management changes and obscure restructurings of the point card system, never having reached any of its lofty goals. The problem? See the title of this post.
True, the complex is theoretically a three minute walk from Namba station. The thing is, it’s a three minute walk toward the middle of nowhere, past Namba Parks and the WINS betting complex (horse racing)… And ultimately, one can’t help but wonder if their business plan relies on impulse buys by people winning big on the ponies; gambling on the gamblers, so to speak. The ultimate proof I can offer to back up my prediction is the parking space I put my car in, the first level of the parking structure, right next to the store elevators, adjacent to ten other open spaces. Now try that at Yodobashi in Umeda.

Uncle Po

One benefit of getting married is that now I have an uncle Po. I guess I have always secretly wanted an uncle named Po. I mean, who wouldn’t? Uncle Po wore a pimp ass purple silk shirt to my wedding, and was aggressive in getting the photos he wanted with his weathered Nikon – film, of course. Uncle Po is OG like that.
Anyway, go check out his work: Photos from Uncle Po!
And just in case you missed out on any of the other photos we have put up until now, you can find a link to all of them here: LINK
annointed.jpg
“Annointed by an angry monk”, a photo by Po (uncle)

Zato #2


I’d review it, but why bother? Opinions on chambara are fairly polarized; when a chambara swordfight flashes by as you flip through channels late at night, either you stop and watch somebody slice through 30 opponents in front of a tea shop, or you don’t.

Cows of Awaji

A couple weeks ago a calf was born on my coworker’s mini dairy farm. These mini-farms are prevalent on the more remote parts of this island, often limited to less than a dozen cows. Anyhow, I got around to asking how the calf was doing today and was told it had gotten sick and died. This was of course sad to hear, as this is apparently a fairly rare occurrence in this day and age. My coworker said the last time a calf died on their farm was over fifteen years ago.
He said that the mother was in great distress for a few days, udders swollen with milk and all moany and bereaved. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you,” he said, “that animals do not feel the pain of a child lost.” Shit. I felt like crying, the way he described it. This did not, however, prevent me from asking if they milked the distressed mother to relieve some of the pain (yes), and if so, did they drink that milk (NO! What the fuck kinda freaks do you think we are?).
Maybe I was being a bit insensitive, but hey, I figured that farmers are like salt of the earth type of people, there ain’t no insensitive questions, just stupid city-slicker type ones, right? So I asked why they don’t drink the milk intended for dead baby cows without worrying too much about getting a pitchfork stuck up my ass. And I had guessed right about him not being fazed about it, he simply said, “It’s got too much fat in it.”
So there you go. The reason why you shouldn’t steal mother’s milk from a suckling calf is that you will turn into a cow yourself.

Parking in Japan

… is about to get worse, if that’s even possible: No quarter for illegal parking from June
This may have changed since it’s been a couple years since I got a parking ticket, but the cheapest one is generally well over a hundred dollars, plus you lose a couple points off your license (well, technically, you gain two points, but still…).
I predict that turning it over to third party metermaids is going to result in some beat up metermaids, at least in the short run.