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Exhale
On the other hand, it’s NOT FUCKING OK to spit at Lance Armstrong just because he owns your second-rate competitors every year. Stupid fucks. Update: Yeah, fuck you too, you stupid ETA cunt. It’s not a fucking soccer game, show some fucking class already.
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Inhale
Every time I swear at the perfidy of the French government, I calm myself by remembering all my good friends in that country and the wonderful times we’ve had over the years.
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A kokeshi is a wooden doll or a dildo, depending on the context
This week is marked by extraordinarily hot weather. I think the French heat wave that melted the cheese and boiled the wine in 2003 decided on a Japanese vacation this year. It’s a wet, constant heat that makes me slow and irritable… My snapping at people is suffering from delayed reaction times; I’m nowhere near the top of my game, although the ear wax dribbling down my sideburns might make some killer organic candles. Surfing around the expat blog scene, I’ve begun to notice that a lot of people are leaving Japan. Many already have. Is there something you should let me know? Is Rumsfield secretly planning a nuclear strike…
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Unknown Hard
If WinXP has an aneurism during re-installation and defaults to the Blue Screen of Death, with the dreaded error 000021a and the mysteriously simple descriptor: “Unknown Hard”, slap the monitor and the keyboard around a few times (I’ll give you hard, bitch!) and kick the minitower around until you smell smoke. Alternatively, insert the WinXP install CD again and set the boot order in BIOS to optical drive first, hard drive second, then reboot and try, try again. Bill Gates can be a real asshole sometimes.
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Nepal
In response to questions regarding the beauty of Nepalese women, Taro answered that you never really see Nepalese women in Nepal. They are traditionally kept hidden from view.
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Soapland Diaries
Busy three day weekend. Had to go clear out remaining stuff at my little sister’s apartment in Sakai on Saturday (the stalker incident left her shaken and we didn’t let her be there by herself after that), but there was too much to move with my car in a single trip, so I enlisted Taro and his van to help out. Friday, after work, I rode the hydrofoil to the airport and from there took a couple trains to his house in Horyuji. Inevitably, drinking ensued. Some memorable moments include picking up my new theramin at Taro’s new incense shop, snapping a shot of a girl in a pink yukata…
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Cabin food for thought
I read this article this morning and can’t stop thinking about it: Terror in the Skies, Again? If you were the author, would you have gotten up and done something? If there really were air marshals on that flight, what the fuck were they waiting for? Perhaps they didn’t have “probable cause,” i.e., one of the “musicians” to emerge from the lav and ask another if they had more matches, “cuz the fuse is damp with ketchup.” I have this sinking feeling there were no air marshals on that flight, and the crew was simply going by the handbook to placate the passengers. If so, that’s just a horrible mindfuck.…
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English by Elimination
Conversation between me and my boss 5 minutes ago: /// Boss: Mr. Justin, what is deductive reasoning? Me: [Heh] Well, let us start with what it isn’t. It isn’t a fish. It isn’t a guitar. It isn’t a beverage conveyance…. Boss: [blank look] Uh. Me: …nor is it the ozone layer, a rotary engine, or a tasty octopus… Boss: [annoyed] Ah… Me: …ain’t the Pope, the Queen, or anything in between… Boss: NONONO MR. JUSTIN. I ask you, what is “deductive reasoning?” Me: I was in the middle of telling you. Boss: Oh. Sorry. Continue, please. (30 seconds later) Me: …not with a fox, nor in a box… Boss: STOP!…
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I am guessing that it is a toilet?
19. Is it round? Yes. 18. Is it made of metal? No. 17. Is it multicolored? No. 16. Is it straight? No. 15. Do you clean it regularly? Yes. 14. Does it use electricity? Sometimes. 13. Can you use it at school? Yes. 12. Does it get really hot? No. 11. Does it have writing on it? Sometimes. 10. Is it a common household object? Yes. 9. Does it move? No. 8. Can it be used for recreation? No. 7. Do you open and close it? Yes. 6. Does it come in different colors? Yes. 5. Can you lift it? No. 4. Can you control it? Yes. 3. Is it…
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No bukkake jokes, please
Just got back from a long, long day in Nagoya at the sumo tournament. It was a wonderful experience, but the long drive home through stop-and-go traffic and a lightning storm has left me exhausted. I will post more pics as I get around to editing them (got the backlog from last weekend, too). But for now… Time to sleeeeep.
