Month: April 2006

What is it with Asians giving themselves western names at the workplace? I work with Tommies, Jacks, Johns,etc., on a daily basis, yet these are all assumed names. More often than not, these are names that corporate English teachers or clients (that can’t pronounce native Japanese/Chinese names) have bestowed upon those in question.
Today, the G-man informed me of the best one we have heard to date. One of his wcorrespondents has dubbed himself Great Wang.
No shit, that’s what the guy calls himself; it’s even in the first part of his email address.
I don’t even know where to start analyzing something like this.
– I need one of this guy’s business cards. Just to be able to show it around.
– Will his assistants be known as Lesser Wangs?
– Anybody confident enough to wear Great Wang t-shirts? Tattoos?

Hanami is when Japanese people start acting like a bunch of Mexicans, laying around under trees and drinking beer. – Grinch-san, 2006
You know what? Grinch-san’s comment cracked me the fuck up. Can’t really refute what the man says. What I can say is that, once again, the weather has taken a turn for the worse during the sakura bloom again. We haven’t had good weather throughout the bloom for quite a few years now.
You know what bothers me about going to hanami more and more over the years? The number of gaijin twats. They aren’t acting like twats, mind you. They’re just being themselves.
/end hanami rant 2006

It’s always amusing to see columnists writing about places they’ve obviously never been: Clash of the superstores / Yamada Denki enters Osaka’s competitive electronics market
Basically, it’s hype like this that led us to take a trip down there yesterday. The night before was Adam’s birthday/farewell party in Umeda, and we stayed the night at a cheap hotel located in the illegalalienwhore district. As we all had some electronics shopping to do (a cranial implant here, a bionic limb augmentation there, you know, standard DenDen cyberware stuff), we decided to check out the vaunted new Yamada Denki complex (hereafter referred to as “Labia 1” – hey, they asked for it).
We arrived before 11 in the morning, only to face a bustling horde. Of sales staff. The place was deserted, as in, there were twice as many staff members as customers, which made for a truly annoying experience. The floor staff followed us around and incessantly offered to help with anything (“You looking to purchase LAN cable?”) until we wandered into the next area – where the next sales specialist was waiting (“Choosing the right mousepad is a critical life decision…”). Jesus.
To be that deserted exactly one month after opening day, on a weekend no less, is not a good sign. I predict this place will close in a few years, after several key management changes and obscure restructurings of the point card system, never having reached any of its lofty goals. The problem? See the title of this post.
True, the complex is theoretically a three minute walk from Namba station. The thing is, it’s a three minute walk toward the middle of nowhere, past Namba Parks and the WINS betting complex (horse racing)… And ultimately, one can’t help but wonder if their business plan relies on impulse buys by people winning big on the ponies; gambling on the gamblers, so to speak. The ultimate proof I can offer to back up my prediction is the parking space I put my car in, the first level of the parking structure, right next to the store elevators, adjacent to ten other open spaces. Now try that at Yodobashi in Umeda.