Month: October 2004

Free E-books: The Baen Free Library

If you like (mostly science) fiction, you should definitely check out the Baen Free Library. On the home page you will find a mission statement by the head “librarian,” Eric Flint, who explains why the books in the library, even though most of them are also available in paper form, are made available for free download. After ordering several paid subscriptions in order to read sequels to books I found in the free library, I can say that I agree with Mr. Flint’s reasoning 100%. I greatly admire what these people are doing.
Over the past couple years I’ve read every book available for download in the Free Library (I prefer RTF format files, which I usually convert to text in Word and read on my laptops or cellphone), and although the Belisarius series and the 163x books, among others, are old favorites, the book I enjoyed the most is Sisters of Glass.
Mind you, a lot of the books in there aren’t so hot, but then again, its all FREE so I can’t really complain. Besides, half the fun of going through any library of books I don’t know is separating the wheat from the chaff.
If you like the works you read for free, you might want to check out their paid Webscriptions and subscribe for their paid stories, as I have in the past, although there is no obligation to do so. One really cool thing about the webscriptions is that they will often offer a free download of the works you purchased to someone of your choosing. Like I said, checkcheckcheckcheckcheck-cha-check it out .
Note: I don’t profit in any way from linking to these sites, I just think they kick ass and deserve more recognition.
Update: BTW, one of the reasons I liked Sisters of Glass so much is that it read so much like a Gibson novel (my first post today spurred this one) – so much so that I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually did write it.

Fishing Awaji Shima

gokai.jpg
The gokai, AKA bloodworm, is a nasty looking worm that looks pretty threatening. In addition to its abundance of legs and segments, it has a vein running the length of its translucent body that pulses blood down from head to tail. Its mouth looks like the Predator’s, and when you touch it the worm will whip around and try and bite you.
gokaiclose.jpg
It only took me three days to work up the courage to pick up the whole worm without using pliers. Actually, I guess it doesn’t really hurt if they bite you but it looks like it does. So what can you catch around here, along the coast where everyone goes to dip their lines? You can catch as many fish as you like, as long as you don’t mind that they’re all going to be small.
The Japanese fisherman has a different mentality than the casual American sports fisherman. When he goes fishing, he means business. Armed with his 20 foot rod, bucket of chum slurry, and 5 hooks on his line all baited with either krill or gokai, he methodically plucks 2-3 inch fish from the seawall and puts them in his bucket. Using his flourescent, multihooked squid jig, he tirelessly snags cuttlefish that occasionally protest by spitting out their oily ink. He stares suspiciously at the passing stranger carrying a fishing pole, practicing his telepathic “go away, dick” stare, sneering in contempt of his meager 6 foot freshwater rig. Yes, the Japanese fisherman plays for keeps- none of this catch and release nonsense for him. If it’s edible, it’s getting cooked and eaten tonight. The reason that there are few big fish out there is that they’ve all been caught and eaten already, most of them before they had a chance to get big.
That way of fishing is not good enough for me. Fishing is about going out and relaxing, having a good time with friends and about connecting with nature. Fishing is about catching fish in unexpected places and ways, developing your own personal methods. Fishing, done the right way, leads to epic adventures and ridiculous tales recalled over sizzling barbecues and beers. That’s why were taking fishing back on Awaji-shima. Instead of going for two inch fish off of the seawall we are going to target the 20 pound carp, jumping mullet, and catfish that swim in the scummy river. We will hook the bass, trout, and char that lurk in the freshwater dams. We will close in on the big fish that eats the abundance of small fish that everyone at the seawall hunts relentlessly. Then, perhaps, the man with the 20 foot pole will look up and realize he has been missing out on something when he sees us having the time of our lives fighting to land something that we don’t intend to eat. Perhaps the next time he catches one that is too small, he will release it to fight another day.
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This strange looking horned-triggerfish, called a kawahagi, quacks like a duck. It will live to fight another day.

Starbucks Clone

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It was bound to happen, right? I mean, many successful chains and brands have to put up with people ripping off their designs or ideas. In-N-Out was ripped by Volks in Japan (which doesn’t even serve anything you can get at In-N-Out), Dr. Pepper has Mr. Pibb, Dr. Grip pens were copied by PHD, but the mother of these has to be The Original Tommy’s World Famous Hamburgers. I wish we had taken photos, but when I was 10 years old, Kohei, my dad, and I took a survey of the Los Angeles area looking for Tommy’s knockoff restaraunts, and what we saw was a wealth of not-so-subtle immitation: Tommie’s, Tammy’s, Timmy’s, Tomy’s, Tom’s, and Sammy’s are just some of the “Original World Famous” hamburger joints where we ate at. The amazing thing is that the buildings all copied the look of a Tommy’s joint, but they all lacked the funky soul of the real thing. By the way, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, the next time you’re in So Cal do yourself a favor and stop by here, or make your own with this recipe and if you truly want the authentic recipe, refer to FAQ no.4 on the official site.
Yes, love it or hate it, Starbucks is a very successful company which you wish you had bought stock for 10 years ago. I wonder how many people sit down here, leisurely sip their coffee and read their newspaper, and walk out, only afterwards noticing that this place isn’t Starbucks but a place that uses a very similar font and color and goes so far as to immitate the circular mark of Starbucks, replacing the crowned Medusa mascot with a stylized cup of coffee. I wonder how many people never notice this and continue to believe that they are drinking at Starbucks, when in fact they are doing no such thing. This immitator isn’t even the best one I’ve seen. That one is called something like “Coffee Factory” but I think it has a slight edge because they also dip into the boba drink market (that would be “bubble tea”). If you are driving down Bolsa Avenue in Little Saigon, it is in the strip mall with Taco Bell and Hair perfection. Not that I recommend this place, as I have heard that their coffee sucks, but if you’re going to Taco Bell anyways…
Immitation is not the highest form of flattery- it is a justified form of slight theft. Parody, is an outright bitchslap.

Well Done

Back in January, in this post, I wrote about Japan’s de facto online price comparison site, kakaku.com. Much like Buy.com and other American equivalents, kakaku is constantly expanding their listings – from all manner of new and used electronics to insurance plans, hotel rates, and sports equipment. Even so, I was surprised to visit their page for the first time in quite a while this morning and find their newest listing: Funeral services.
Link:
http://www.kakaku.com/sougi/
I’ll translate the instructions for you:
STEP 1: Select desired funeral plan and region. Plans available are Cremation Only (I assume there’s a further choice of Regular or Extra Crispy), Family and Relatives, Standard (40 people), Standard (100 people), Company, or Special (musical themed or non-religious themed, etc.). Regions are currently limited to Tokyo and Kanazawa.
STEP 2: Make more detailed choices.
STEP 3: Receive a quote.
Quick! Easy! We’ll only charge you half the price of a new car to think up a special Buddhist name for the afterlife! Yes, I know I will go to hell for writing this. Satan, beware.
On a more serious tip, though, there’s a listing for a place in Tokyo that will burn a body for you for the modest sum of 136,500 yen ($1,250). Something to keep in mind.

Ask C. Buddha: Celebrity Dreams

Jen e-mailed about the newly-created Nick Nolte’s Diary and asked why celebrities are “always writing about dreams and feelings and flowery shit.”
Well Jen, that’s simple. Celebrities are, for the most part, total fucking pansies with a shitload of free time between making horrible movies, getting jasmine-infused honey colonics, and modeling for “charity.” As for the “vivid dreams” which are a trademark of their web writings, celebrities can obviously afford better drugs and booze than the rest of us.

Phuket Breeze

It was a glorious sunset over the mountains and we walked the endless rows of fruitstands and tourist giftshops in search of seafood. As we neared the plaza concentrated with seafood stands, a young man approached and invited us over to one of his tables. Other stall owners caught movement out of the corners of their eyes as they performed various tasks – wiping down tables, setting out plates – and also came over to beg our patronage.
“Cheapcheap!”
“You want snapperfish?”
“You want crab?”
“Good seafood! Best!!”
We were the very first customers of the night in the whole plaza, and we were being greeted accordingly; we quickly became the center of a very large and growing crowd.
“We have freshest fish!”
“Lobster good!”
“Seafood stew!”
We were inundated with the pleas of a dozen business-hungry vendors. What a wonderfully empowering, yet embarassing sensation! How to choose among them all? We listened to more pitches:
“You like Tom Yum soup?”
“We have noodles, sir!”
“Japanese beer!”
“Kon-ni-chiwa!”
In a fit of desperation, the solution suddenly came to me:
“OKAY ALL Y’ALL NEED TO LISTEN UP! THE PERSON WHO CAN JUMP THE HIGHEST GETS OUR PATRONAGE!”
Nobody seemed to understand this brilliant concept, so I demonstrated, hands raised in the air, I started jumping up and down. My, how they got into it.
“HIGHER LADDIES, JUMP HIGHER!”
As the crowd got even larger, filling with jumping bodies wearing aprons and chef’s hats, I glanced sideways at my companions. They both looked kind of shellshocked, and I admit, it felt a bit like being trapped in a House of Pain video.
A real asshole, at this point, would have led his companions away and made everybody feel stupid for performing tricks for free. I, however, was hungry, and judged the winner of the jumping contest on the spot. We ended up having a very mediocre seafood dinner at his stand, so I learned something valuable that day: How a high a person can jump is a poor indicator of their cooking skills. I learn new things every single day, I tell you.
For the next trip somewhere similar, I’ll have to think of a new benchmark. Any suggestions?