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Sports Nuts
This is your brain on rugby: OUCH.
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…and the law got body-checked
So I got the call from the bank yesterday and they changed their minds about having me inside the bank, I guess. They offered to meet me on my lunch break in the union office next to our company cafeteria today. They told me to bring ID and my hanko (personal seal) to sign off on a receipt, to which I said, “no.” The guy replied I could sign my name instead of using a hanko (as if that was the problem), and I basically made up my mind to not sign a goddamn thing before going into the meeting today. I mean, I did nothing wrong, so why should…
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Top Historical Uses of the ‘F’ Word
1. “Scattered f***ing showers, my ass!” – Noah, 4314 BC 2. “How the f*** did you work that out?” – Pythagoras, 126 BC 3. “You want WHAT on the f***ing ceiling?” – Michelangelo, 1566 4. “Where did all those f***ing Indians come from?” – Custer, 1877 5. “What the f*** do you mean, ‘we’re sinking?'” – Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 6. “It does SO f***ing look like her!” – Picasso, 1926 7. “Where the f*** are we?” – Amelia Earhart, 1937 8. “Any f***ing idiot could understand that.” – Einstein, 1938 9. “What the f*** was that?” – Mayor Of Hiroshima – 1945 10. “I need this…
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Japanese Toilet Paper
I am not the only person who has scraped his asshole raw with the sandpaper commonly dispensed in public toilets in Japan. This is fact. However, I may be the only one blogging about it today, which makes me special. The entire point of this post is to point out that the Japanese should emulate the Brits with regard to this matter. Also, is “hemorrhoids/haemorrhoids” like “color/colour?” That is all.
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I fought the law…
During lunch break I went to one of the ATMs next to our company cafeteria and tried to withdraw 25,000 yen. The transaction went smoothly until the very last step – my bank card and the receipt came out of the machine, but when the cash drawer opened, the machine suddenly seized up with squeaking cacophony of bill-shredding grinds and the drawer slammed shut, leaving me empty-handed. The revolving status indicator spun sickeningly for a brief instant and finally landed on OUT OF ORDER. I glanced at my relection on the two-way glass panel from which I was doubtlessly being recorded and saw my jaw drop in a classic “WTF?”…
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Gizoogle
I’ll let you in on a little secret: This is my official Monday morning search engine. Because on Mondays, you ALL be actin’ like beotches tryin’ to find shiznit.
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The horse’s mouth
Go forth, you hack: Everything You Need to Know About Writing Successfully: in Ten Minutes by Stephen King Obviously, I haven’t had time to read it yet.
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A twist on the old bean hurling
Yesterday was setsubun, the traditional Japanese new year, and we celebrated accordingly. I got home from a long day at work, the GF touched my arm and said “you’re it!,” then we played “oni ha soto” tag for a couple minutes. Then, I fell asleep on the sofa. (happy. new year.) P.S. Shouldn’t we get the day off or something? Doesn’t tradition mean anything to these heathens?
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A Brief History of Japanese Fish Sausage
*Not to be confused with Japanese Fish Cake (“kamaboko“) Early attempts at manufacturing sausages from fish meat (employing cellophane or sheep innards as the outer wrapper/skin) have been traced back to the Taisho period (1912 – 1926). It is not clear why these early experiments failed but one might suspect the very concept of a “fish sausage” sounded pretty weird, even to the inventor’s own family. After all, fish was delicious even without encasing it in animal entrails and could be preserved, to an extent, with traditional methods such as salting and drying. In addition, the formula for creating fish sausages were not perfected before the idea was shelved. In…
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Rear Spoiler on Gloria
Like a zit on a classy older woman’ face. Or something like that.
