-
In the Inbox
From the girlfriend (who never bothered to get her driver’s license until now): “How are you doing? It is very hot today! I am happy to be driving everywhere, I can turn left and right and turn around! Unbelievable! (Don’t say that I can’t drive anymore! Bitch! I can do if I want to do! hahaha!)” Is it obvious why I love this woman (and are these awesome English teaching credentials or what?).
-
Spin Cycle
Ten days ago, my girlfriend went back to Thailand to gather material for her doctorate. Nine days ago, I woke up with a hangover the size of Uluru and felt nauseous as well as lonely. Eight days ago, I washed a huge pile of dishes and decided from then on to use the same frying pan, plate, and set of chopsticks until my girlfriend gets back in mid-May (actually, I’m kind of lying because the plate has hardly been used). Seven days ago, I did a load of laundry but forgot to hang it out to dry (there are no dryers in Japan as the Shinto and Buddhist faiths explicitly…
-
Ambulance ride update
Ambulance rides in Japan have always been free, but I just heard from a paramedic that hospitals will start charging 40,000 yen per ride in the near future. Attention all hypochondriacs: Get your free rides while the getting’s still good!
-
Hitori de Hanami
Yesterday was my company hanami. I didn’t feel much like drinking from noon, so I went at around four-fifteen. It’s only about fifteen minutes up to the top of Magata-yama, where it was being held, so I bought a tall can of Asahi at the bottom of the hill and hiked up. I looked for my party for half an hour and they weren’t there, so I sat under a secluded grove of sakura, sipped my beer, and went back home. The people at work obviously have no idea what a real hanami is.
-
Jackpotting Japanese Vending Machines
High school dropouts, strung-out junkies, and fucked gaijin, behold: This is all you need to jackpot vending machines in Japan. I’ve seen evidence of it poured down coin slots of every make and model of jihanki, but passersby usually mistake it as simple vandalism rather than evidence of (usually attempted but not successful) theft. Hearsay in my college dorm was that older machines are more likely to produce coins (via return slot) than newer ones, and lengthy debates were held on the question of whether other brands of dishsoap would work as well as MamaLemon, pictured above. Basically, the entire jackpotting phenomenon* exists mainly because: A. Japanese college students are…
-
Read this
One of the most haunting pieces of writing I have ever seen: Creek Running North Read the comments, too. (via Carpundit)
-
Wrong Number
Through some incredibly crappy piece of cosmic fate, my home phone number is a single digit off from the number of the office running a ferry service down at Sumoto Port. This makes for some interesting phone calls sometimes, usually people who ask when the next boat is leaving, etc. Usually I’m pretty cool about it, but recently, I’ve been a big asshole about wrong numbers because my girl is back in Thailand and when the phone rings, I assume it’s her. Yesterday the phone rang at 4:30 AM and I was like, “mmmgggrrrrcoughcoughgegege – whello?” “What time does the next ferry leave?” Oh, for the love of christ! “WRONG…
-
Return of the Kancho Sense
Azrael’s site (the “I am a Japanese school teacher” dude) is back up! Check out the latest installment of his adventures here. “I make it back to the haven of the teachers room…but not the man I once was. No, I was once a proud pillar of Anti-Kancho, Dickdodging magnificence. Now, I limped gingerly back to my seat, my tail between my legs, my ass no longer pure. This was definitely not in the contract.” This is some seriously funny shit.
-
Owner of the greatest bar story. Ever.
Sent from a reader: (Click to enlarge.) Apparently this clipping is from two years ago, but I had never heard of it until now. That guy has balls the size of basketballs, or a brain the size of a pea. Come to think of it, those two traits aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive, are they?
-
Region Free Command for by d:sign d:1070
If you bought a by d:sign d:1070 DVD player in Japan and need instructions for unlocking the region free function (to be able to view DVDs from other regions), look no further: 1. Open the tray 2. Press the Setup button on the remote 3. On the Selection page, press the following buttons: 1, 3, 7, 9 4. When the Region Code screen appears, change the Region from 2 to 0 5. Buy me a beer if it works!
