Well, that’s the first time I’ve spelled my name backwards for a long, long time. The last time was in 5th or 6th grade when my best friend Ben Stebbing insisted we call each other by our own names backwards. He moved to England the next year and the last time I Googled him I determined he was either dead or in a Liverpool mental hospital. (Ben, if you are alive and have access to the net, speak up my friend.) What spurred this memory today? It ties into the best news I’ve heard all week: In my past life I was known as J.U.S.T.I.N., the Jaded and Unbelievably Socratic…

An excellent article on Architeuthis in the New Yorker: “There was this big thing hanging off the front of the net,” Robison recalled. “The suckers were still grasping.” Robison’s discovery offered the most accurate recording yet of a giant squid’s depth in the water column. “Until then, most people thought they were only near the bottom,” he said. Robison later dissected the tentacle and performed chemical analyses; the consistency of the tissue, and its high level of protein, led him to speculate that the giant squid was “a relatively strong swimmer.” Robison told me that he had taken a bite of its raw, rubbery flesh. “How could I not?” he…

WOOOHOOOO!: LOTTERIA LA PRIMITIVA. AVNIDA DE AMERICA 137, MADRID – ESPAムA FROM: THE DESK OF THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER, INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT, REF: LP/26510460037/03 BATCH: 24/00319/IPD ( CONGRATULATION) DEAR SIR, AWARD NOTIFICATION FINAL NOTICE. We are pleased to inform you of the announcement, of winners of the LOTTERY PRIMITIVA SWEEPSTAKES/INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS held on 4th december,2003.the late release of this result was due to difficulties encountered in sorting out mixed up numbers and email addresses,thatエs why we have been working 24 hours to see that everything is ok. Your name is attached to ticket number 004-05117963-198, with serial number 99375 drew the lucky numbers 31-33 -34-35-36-42, and consequently,won the lottery in…

(^o^)

There’s this really weird GoogleAd on the Blogspot banner over at the Big Ho’s right now. The link says “Buddhism Wireless Life” and links to http://www.wiphi.net/. No link, because there is something sinister about the site. Like the webmaster is watching the hit logs in realtime, tracing your IP, and watching you surf his site through your own monitor as he masturbates with Pringles-greasy fingers. Brother J says Yuck. I’m not surprised that comment implementation for Blogger sucks big hazelnuts, but I’m kinda bummed I didn’t get to troll the Ho at least once. Dammit. Sending E-mail is so non-whorish. Plus, you gotta click like five times or something. Too…

15. Box O’ Grapes 14. Chateau du Crack Chardonnay 13. White Trashfindel 12. Big Red Gulp 11. Grape Expectations 10. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays” 9. Sam’s Dog 20/20 8. Chef Boyardeaux 7. Trucker’s Choice 6. Blue Light Special Nun 5. Chateau des Moines 4. Mogen Darryl 3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar! 2. World Championship Wriesling and the Number 1 Name for Wal-Mart Wine… 1. Nasti Spumanti Courtesy of my reader, Jen

For those of you that returned to work today and asked yourself that time-honored question, “why in the hell do I still work here?”, I present one of my most effective coping mechanisms: Drum Machine. That is all.

Well, Slate followed up the wonderful variety meat article with one written by a food critic weenie from England, of all places. Perhaps his wittiest assertion in comparing London’s Chez Whiteys with their counterparts in Los Angeles is: “The reason the food is better at London’s top restaurants is that Britain is closer to France.” Although I kind of doubt that the American chefs would accept losing to kidney pie slingers very graciously. The critic’s self-proclaimed noobosity (18 months on the job) is proven with the following: However, once you drop down a couple of notches, L.A. knocks London into a cocked hat. The restaurant I’ve been most impressed by…