Category: Web

My results:

I am 12% Idiot.

I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people.

Take the
Idiot Test

OK, I call bullshit on this test overall because I can be hugely annoying when I get in my groove. It was fun thinking about the answers, though.
WARNING! SPOILER BELOW! (Take the test first!):
Can’t help but wonder about the “asking a third time” question. N/A because you shouldn’t have to ask more than once, right? Or is that a trick?

Do the 50 invites bug anybody else, or is it just me? Why 50? Why not 100? Why not 36,687.02? I know… Why not a google of invitations? The number seems not to matter so much after, say, 10 or so. It might have meant something when they were exclusive enough to trade for sexual favors (remember all the wankers who offered invitations only if you first clicked a sponsor’s link/voted for their blog/left a haiku in the comments?), but now they just feel like a nagging responsibility! And they must be fucking like rabbits in there! Go ahead, send a few and see how long it takes for the ones you used to be replaced! Uh-oh. They may have heard me… Help! They’re ganging up on me! URRRGHL… can’t… get… them…. off! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
^*Note from editor: If (you just logged on to the Internet for the first time and) you’d like an invite, please leave a sexual favor in the comments.

ADVANCED
You scored 93% Beginner, 86% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 72% Expert!
You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels’ questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don’t use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score. (I might also add that 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am king of the universe, and I cook a mean Kobe steak, too.)
Take the test:
The Commonly Confused Words Test

You’re butch. You have little use for femininity
because frankly, it never got you anywhere.
Guys may find you intimidating, but once they
get to know you, you’re not so bad. You’re
empowered and sometimes stand up for women’s
and gay rights. If you own a motorcycle, you
probably also know how to strip it and perform
your own repairs. If something bugs you about
your house, fixing it is no problem. You may be
a little shy about decking, tile work,
electrical work, plumbing or hanging windows.
Once you figure out how to do it, there isn’t
much holding you back.

What is your Dyke Rating?
brought to you by Quizilla
Damn. I wanted to be a lesbian seagull.

Alright, then… Calm down! Cheer up! Calm down! Cheer up! Calm…
“Doctor, doctor, I feel so short!”
No problem. Hop up on the couch.
“Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I’m ugly!”
OK, lay on the couch, face down.
“Doctor, doctor, I’ve only got 59 seconds to live.”
Wait a minute please.
(I love you sickos, keep the mail coming!)

A team of sociologists have planned an experiment in isolation. They send an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Japanese man to a deserted island and arrange to come back and pick them up in a year’s time and see how they have adapted.
The sociologists leave, and the three men decide to split up the tasks amongst themselves.
“I’m an engineer” says the Englishman, “So I’ll handle building a shelter”.
He turns to the Frenchman and says: “You French are pretty good cooks so why don’t you handle the cooking?”
The Frenchman agrees, and the Englishman turns to the Japanese and says “That leaves you to organise the supplies”.
The Japanese man agrees and each man sets about his tasks.
A year passes, and the sociologists return to see how the men have coped.
They expect to find three desperate men, unhappy with having to live on the island, but instead find a huge wooden house with verandas and porches and balconies. The Englishman comes to greet them,and when they express their surprise about the house he just shrugs and says “Yeah well I had a Lot of raw materials so I kind of went to town and did the place up”.
The team are amazed and are shown inside to the kitchen where they’re greeted with the most amazing smell of delicious food.
The Frenchman sees their surprise and just shrugs “I had lots to work with” he says,”This island has loads of edible herbs and plants.”
The team sits down to eat and are about to start when one of them inquires about the Japanese man.
“Oh we don’t know what happened to him” explains the Englishman, he ran off into the woods to sort out the supplies and hasn’t been seen since”.
They all agree that they should try to find the man, and a search party is organised. They make it about 100 yards into the woods, when the Japanese man jumps out from behind a tree, stark naked with half a coconut on his head, and peacock feathers sticking out of his backside, and shouts…
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….. “SUPPLIES!!!”
(profound thx to Osaka Bill – I spit ocha all over my laptop screen in front of my manager)

NWA fans, believe me – this is the shit:
Nina Gordon – SOC
(thx G!)

There’s a recent Neal Stephenson interview over at Reason.

The longest word in the English language:
acetylseryltyrosylserylisoleucylthreonylserylprolylserylglutaminyl-
phenylalanylvalylphenylalanylleucylserylserylvalyltryptophylalanyl-
aspartylprolylisoleucylglutamylleucylleucylasparaginylvalylcysteinyl-
threonylserylserylleucylglycylasparaginylglutaminylphenylalanyl-
glutaminylthreonylglutaminylglutaminylalanylarginylthreonylthreonyl-
glutaminylvalylglutaminylglutaminylphenylalanylserylglutaminylvalyl-
tryptophyllysylprolylphenylalanylprolylglutaminylserylthreonylvalyl-
arginylphenylalanylprolylglycylaspartylvalyltyrosyllysylvalyltyrosyl-
arginyltyrosylasparaginylalanylvalylleucylaspartylprolylleucylisoleucyl-
threonylalanylleucylleucylglycylthreonylphenylalanylaspartylthreonyl-
arginylasparaginylarginylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylvalylglutamyl-
asparaginylglutaminylglutaminylserylprolylthreonylthreonylalanylglutamyl-
threonylleucylaspartylalanylthreonylarginylarginylvalylaspartylaspartyl-
alanylthreonylvalylalanylisoleucylarginylserylalanylasparaginylisoleucyl-
asparaginylleucylvalylasparaginylglutamylleucylvalylarginylglycyl-
threonylglycylleucyltyrosylasparaginylglutaminylasparaginylthreonyl-
phenylalanylglutamylserylmethionylserylglycylleucylvalyltryptophyl-
threonylserylalanylprolylalanylserine