Extra anus kills four-legged chick
Now how the hell did I miss that last month?
Category: Web
Peppering
This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while: Season Shot
One question, though: Is it a joke? Cuz I’m pretty sure I’ve met people who would actually buy it.
(thx JV)
50 Amazing-but-True Holiday Facts
* In the village where the original Saint Nicholas was born,
children celebrate Christmas by giving gifts to old men
with long white beards.
* Children whose families celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas
have a 97 percent higher chance of getting socks as a gift.
* The yule log was originally a symbol of good digestion
following an overlarge Christmas feast.
* The Japanese term for Christmas, Kurisumasu Omedeto, can also
be loosely translated as “Morning of the Greedy Children.”
* On December 23, 1775, as Ben Franklin staggered out of the
Continental Congress Christmas Party on the arm of colonial
party girl Patience Rutledge, a furious Mrs. Franklin hurled
a fruitcake at him, striking the Liberty Bell instead.
* The sugar rush of a fruitcake is canceled out by its alcohol
content.
* For the past decade, the Spanish-speaking Santa at the
Del Amo mall in Torrance, CA, has been played by Erik Estrada.
* Resurrected by Budweiser in the 20th century, the phrase
“Wassup!” comes from a Christmas drinking game from the Middle
Ages in which players chugged hot wassail. The first to vomit
— or “wass-up” — would then be drowned in a nearby lake.
* Next year, Mars, Inc. will debut special M&M versions for
Purim and Yom Kippur.
* The dogs barking “Jingle Bells” on the novelty record were
not dogs at all, but parrots, which can mimic dogs and are
easier to train.
* Jesus was actually born on January 1, but Joseph and Mary
moved the date back a week to get a government-approved
tax deduction.
* As part of top-secret “Operation Bagdhad Bells,” the Bush
administration actually considered sending Salvation Army
troops into Iraq.
* The first-ever Hanukkah latke recipe featured turnips,
rhubarb and kale. These proved so unpopular that many
different vegetables were substituted until the current
potato version prevailed.
* In certain parts of the world, eggnog is used as a sexual
lubricant.
* In Latvia, indoor Christmas trees were originally fake.
Real trees started being used in 1923 when the factory
making the fake ones burned down.
* During the early 1970s, the Hasbro company attempted to
build a “North Pole” toy factory at Point Barrow, Alaska.
Construction was halted when feasibility studies predicted
labor shortages.
* In freshly-fallen snow, reindeer hoof prints are indisguishable
from those of the common Missouri white-tailed deer.
* In some parts of Scandinavia where evergreens are legally
protected, people still follow a tradition of making Christmas
trees from potted poison ivy plants tended indoors. The locals
say that along with gifts, Kris Kringle brings immunity to the
skin irritants the plant produces.
* Most serious drummers consider “pa-rum-pum-pum-pum” a
distastefully pedestrian riff.
* “It’s a Wonderful Life” was original a detective story written
for star Humphrey Bogart — and in the story, whenever a
bell rang an angel got cement shoes.
* The literal translation of “Chanukah” from ancient Hebrew into
English means, “Buy seven, get the eighth one free.”
* After the Three Wise Men left, Joseph bartered the gold and
frankincense for more practical gifts: a camel-ready infant
seat and three hours of babysitting. He kept the myrrh because
of its well-known ability to heal swaddling rash.
* Studies show that neighbors tend to complain about wattage-
sucking, multimedia outdoor decorations because they are
*jealous*.
* On the eighth day of Christmas, Jesus was circumcised.
* The oil in the Temple menorah lasted twice as long as now
thought, but the information was suppressed by parents who
couldn’t afford 16 nights of Chanukah presents.
* The most popular eggnog in Russia is not made from chicken
eggs, but from caviar.
* Every year between Christmas Day and New Year’s day, there is
a 2-for-1 sale on caribou patties at the Anchorage Deli.
* The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe originated in
Germany in the 18th century when a person who was deathly
allergic to mistletoe came in contact it and had to be revived
by mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
* Balthasar, the third King of Orient, was gay.
* Absurd as it seems, behavioral scientists claim kids don’t want
expensive toys — what they REALLY want is just to be loved.
* Beginning in 2001, the White House Christmas tree decorations
have included a novelty ornament given to President Bush by
Vice President Cheney: A silver-plated election ballot with
a hanging chad.
* Holiday fruitcake began as a prank made from carefully
reshaped reindeer droppings.
* The Egyptians celebrated a holiday they called “Chrystmus”
over 1700 years before the birth of Christ.
* The primary causes of death during the holidays are heart
attacks and suicide caused by the arrival of credit-card bills.
* According to the Department of Homeland Security’s 2007
strategic plan, 2006 will be the last year youngsters can
sit on a mall Santa’s lap without first passing through a
metal detector.
* Properly prepared, figgy pudding is a potent aphrodisiac.
* The average height of a Christmas tree (5′ 4″) is exactly
the same as the distance between Jesus’s hands on the cross.
* For years, the U.S. Postal Service has secretly answered
letters addressed to Santa Claus. Due to outsourcing of the
Holiday Mail division to Mumbai, such letters are now more
likely to get positive responses if they are written in Punjabi.
* Studies show that while toddlers love Christmas tree lights,
they prefer Christmas tree *fires*.
* “Black Friday” originated as a ritual of purchasing highly
prized whimsical curios for unconverted village urchins
and then burning them together at the stake.
* Tinsel is an excellent garnish for chicken or veal.
* Red and green became official Christmas colors in 1939, when
it was recognized that red marked-down price tags brought
in green cash during the shopping season.
* “Extreme-Ultra-Orthodox” Jews have only six non-holidays a year.
* “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” was banned from the airwaves
and bookstores from 1950-1956 because of its implied support
for Communism.
* Pope Gregory moved Christmas from its original day, March 17,
at the request of Irish bishops and barley farmers who were
promoting a new holiday to commemorate Saint Patrick.
* Eggnog was created after its predecessors beefnog, hamnog and
troutnog failed miserably.
* The reason you almost never see purple Christmas lights is
that Saint Nicholas, the prototype for Santa Clause, believed
purple was satanic. He even threatened to have any of his
parishioners who wore purple excommunicated.
* Reindeer feces have been known to burn holes in roof shingles.
* For nine years following the 1843 publication of “A Christmas
Carol,” Ebenezer was the most popular boys’ name in Great
Britain.
* If you pour sourmash whiskey on a pine wreath purchased at
Wal-Mart anytime between 1998 and 2002 and set it aflame,
it gives off the scent of warm apple cider.
(via osaka bill)
The Big Ho on Slate
Mystery solved. All you have to do is scroll down the page a bit further:
click to enlarge
I miss Jim
Over at NPR:
Ray Manzarek on ‘Light My Fire’
The keyboardist for the Doors explains how he came up with the famous piano riff from “Light My Fire.”
Simply fascinating.
(thx, kiaa)
Ironwork Genius
Quite possibly the coolest laptop in the world. If these guys did the innards, they’d sell like hotcakes, 10kg weight and $X,000 price tag be damned.
Most definitely the coolest Fiat in the world. See the video, too.
Firefox 2 Officially Released!
GO GET IT!
More info over at Gen’s
Call Me! – Futurephone
David Pogue explains how you can call from the US to overseas, from a regular phone, for free: Free Overseas Phone Calls
There’s an interesting back end to this story as well, which he covered in his e-mail newsletter this week:
From the Desk of David Pogue: The Final Word on Futurephone
//////////////////////////////
By now, you might be sick of hearing about Futurephone, the
company I recently profiled in my blog
http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2006/10/09/09pogues-posts-4/
because it offers totally free international phone calls to
over 50 countries. No signup, no fees, no surrendering your
name or address.
Man, we’re a cynical bunch these days. Very few of you were
persuaded that Futurephone’s business plan is what its chief
executive says it is: “to build up the company’s brand-name
recognition. Our plan is to offer additional services in the
future.”
Last week, I attempted to shoot down some of the sillier
explanations of Futurephone’s real game — the ones where
readers speculated that the company is going to harvest its
customers’ phone numbers (why? — isn’t the phone book much
more convenient?) or listen in to the calls (wayyyy too
boring to be plausible).
This week, several of you suggested that Futurephone’s actual
business plan is far more complicated — and far more
plausible. If it’s true, it’s incredibly clever.
In his blog
http://saunderslog.com/2006/10/11/whats-with-the-712-area-code/
for example, Alec Saunders explains this game of telecom
arbitrage like this:
“Ever wonder why it is that FuturePhone, Radio Handi,
FreeConferenceCall, and PartyLine Connect all have access
numbers in the 712 area code? These services all provide
‘free’ services to you. There’s ‘no catch.’ You just have to
make a long distance call to get them.
“So how do these services get paid, and why are the access
numbers all in Iowa? The short answer is tax subsidies.”
He goes on to explain that our government gives the states
money to help them with maintenance and improvements to
local telephone plants. There’s also an invisible tariff
involved, amounting to three cents per minute collected by
the *terminating* phone company.
Alec speculates that Futurephone is performing a sort of
tariff arbitrage.
“Let’s take FuturePhone as an example…All you have to do is
call 712 858 8883 (a number provided by the tiny Superior
Telephone Coop in Estherville, Iowa), and then enter the
international call you want to make using the standard 011
prefix.
“So how do they make money? … Say that FuturePhone’s cost
to terminate the call is 1.25 cents. That leaves 1.75 cents
per minute to split with the folks at Superior Telephone
Coop. Give them half, which leaves you 0.875 cents per
minute, and you’ve got a pretty attractive proposition …
Everybody wins! The good citizens of Iowa win (they’ve now
got a fiber network joining up 150 of their independently
owned telcos), FuturePhone has a seemingly profitable
business model, and you win by getting cheap overseas calls.”
Now, Alec goes on to imply that this plan is sneaky and that
somehow you wind up shouldering the burden. Me, I don’t see
anything wrong with it. The Futurephone guy and his fellow
Iowans have stumbled upon a clever scheme, if they are indeed
using this arbitrage ploy. It’s perfectly legal, and does, in
fact, win us free overseas calls. (Alec ignores, for example,
the fact that many people have cellphones or home phones with
unlimited long distance for a fixed price. For us, these
international calls are really, truly free.)
So is that what Futurephone is doing? I asked Futurephone’s
Tom Doolin point-blank this week.
All he’ll say in response is that, “Our company is private
and we do not disclose proprietary or confidential
information.”
But he did note that the company is now “actively pursuing
potential advertising sponsors.” That’s a new bit of
information, which I found explained in more detail on an ABC
News Web article. “They’ll listen to a 10-second commercial
if they can make a free call,” Mr. Doolin told ABC News. “In
the middle of next year you might see something like that.”
(He also, by the way, stressed that, “In response to your
follow-up on personal privacy, let me assure you that
Futurephone.com does not record people’s telephone
conversations.”)
For now, I think a lot of the commenters and bloggers are
being too cynical. My own reaction is much more along the
lines of this reader’s comment:
“It WORKS! I just called a relative in a small town in Greece
from my cell phone and was connected immediately. (I have
never been able to call using my cell phone before.)
“To those who think that Big Brother is monitoring the calls:
if they are the least bit interested in my conversation — in
Greek — with an 86-year-old aunt, so be it; you just saved
me $50-$100 a month!”
Can somebody try this out? Give me a call!
Oh, wait – Nobody has my number! I don’t even have a cellphone yet! I’ll send my number out as soon as I get one… In the meantime, I’d really love to know if this Futurephone thing works or not!
Anousheh Ansari
Did everyone read her Space Blog?
This has to be one of the most inspirational blog posts ever.
Speaking of shit sandwiches…
BREAKING NEWS ALERT!
Chinese like to gobble a dick all kinds of dick: Beijing’s penis emporium
I will admit to having eaten bull penis and testicle soup (respectively, cartilaginous and spongy), poached cod sperm (creamy), and a few other weird things, but I absolutely draw the line at seal penis (I once saw a walrus’ penis and it was like a beige fire hydrant) and aborted reindeer foetus.