Exploits

  • Exploits,  Photos

    Mudgrubber

    On the way home from field archery a few months ago, I spotted this bad boy about to get squished on the road. We took him home for lack of a good place to release him, and I snapped this shot with the Nikon in one hand and steering wheel in the other. (On a scale of difficulty, it was somewhere between eating a Big Mac and changing a CD while driving.) Anyway, Mr. Turtle got to play in my bathtub for a few hours and he surprised us all by screeching the entire time. Yes, it’s true. Turtles screech. Eeek eeeeek eeeeeeeek. So the next time some hippie starts…

  • Exploits

    Look wot I can do!

    Wow. I just wrote the PERFECT POST here and lost it when I accidentally closed the browser window. Hooray for me! No, I will not attempt to recreate it. That would be like trying to top my harshest drinking record (16 Spirytus shots) – maybe possible, but not without great suffering. Speaking of Spirytus, I just found out from the distributor’s site that the shit isn’t really meant for drinking as-is (as if we didn’t know before): Poland is a big, world producer of spirit obtained by the fermentation of grain or potatoes. The purification of the spirit is made by rectification in modern automated plants. Spirit obtained in this…

  • Exploits

    Ode to Yoshi-Gyu

    I have been depressed since this weekend when Nam and I walked past a Yoshinoya (ex-purveyor of gyudon, or “beef bowls”) and saw: A. A notice on the door informing people that gyudon was no longer being served B. A gaudy yellow banner proclaiming their new product: Karedon (curry bowl) C. Not a single goddamn customer sitting at the counters, even though it was lunchtime This particular branch was in Nara but I saw three more on the way and in Osaka later, that were suffering the same fate. I wonder if Yoshinoya will get on the butadon (pork bowl) bandwagon or not. Then again, who cares? I miss my…

  • Exploits

    Brimful of Asha

    I once drank a pinchful of vibhuti, sacred ash, dissolved in a cup of water at the insistence of a crazy white guy I met in Japan who was a follower of Sai Baba. He told me great things about Sai Baba and how he conjured this ash from nothingness. Now, I am fascinated with India and always have been – it’s high on my “to experience” list – but this one point regarding the ash always gnawed at me. I mean, really, why ash? Why not something useful like powdered milk to feed the hungry masses or graphite powder for lubricating squeaky rickshaw axels? The guy didn’t offer an…

  • Exploits

    Homeward Bound

    The woman and I woke up at 5:00 to be greeted by the coldest morning of the year (so far). The sky was dark and opening the curtains let in a wave of cold that assaulted my bare feet with pinprick chills. The stiffened tatami mats crackled underfoot as I stumbled out the door into the hallway, where the first breath of air always seems to suck every last bit of warmth from my body. But onward we go! I am currently blogging on a hydrofoil that is taking us from Sumoto to Kansai International Airport… Is blogging from a hydrofoil unique? I dunno, but it is making me kind…

  • Exploits

    Dead and Bloated

    Incidentally, Cosmic Buddha’s GF recently shared a scary story about a women’s restroom at the rear of a temple she visited in Thai a couple years ago. Apparently there was a dead rat floating in the barrel used for holding water used for “flushing”. She fled in abject horror but didn’t have the heart to tell the nice monk who was showing their group around the temple. Disclaimer: This temple obviously did not fall under the authority of Cosmic Buddha. We have flushing toilets at all of our temples, for both sexes.

  • Exploits

    Traditions & Boners Galore

    Did you know that “raccoon” can also be spelled “racoon,” and did you know that raccoons get serious wood sometimes? I had no idea either, before our little day trip to Nazo no Paradise (Paradise of Mysteries) on my little island, Awajishima. The place is located about 40 minutes away from my pad in Sumoto and is touted as a backwoods kind of amusement/attraction. Everyone I asked about it would not specify exactly what the attraction was, so we really had no idea what to expect… Walking down this scenic little valley, you would never expect to find yourself in a room full of shrines dedicated to (mostly) raccoon boners,…

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    Weekend Doings

    Bad News first: Forgot to call home for my mom’s birthday. The doghouse in which I currently reside is quite dark, to better accomodate hiding. Much Better News: 1. Weather was absolutely brilliant. Drove to Nara in approximately 12 parsecs. Sylvia was at the top of her game and we ate a Skyline GT-R for lunch. Shame, shame. This guy had serious “GT-R: King of Road” machismatic issues or something, because he suddenly floored it when I moved to pass. It had not been my intention to challenge him at all, I just wanted to get off the island quickly in order to reach Kobe before traffic started, but this…

  • Exploits,  Old Blog Entries (archives)

    Yoshida-Machino Futon Cleaning, Inc.

    On my first trip to France, I fell in love with Paris. It just felt like home for some reason. Mostly this was thanks to Taro’s girlfriend at the time. Her father was some Spaniard nouveau rich hombre dude who hit the lottery. All other aspects of her life were offbeat, as well. I think she was a gypsy, and I mean that in a “spinning dervish nomadic salt of the earth” type of way. She and Taro had met on his 2-year journey across Australasiurope (easier to show on a map than describe it with words), and he had spent 6 months with her living on the streets of…

  • Exploits,  Old Blog Entries (archives),  Society & Culture,  Toys & Tech

    Jayzus, my comp just scared the hell out of me…

    I’m blogging from a slightly worn but surprisingly comfortable lounge chair I happened upon in the foyer of a wedding hall, located in a once-was-ritzyish hotel in Ibaraki, a lackluster suburb steadily infesting the area between Osaka and Kyoto. I staked my claim on this cluster of chairs and their centerpiece hardwood coffee table about half an hour ago… As I type, people are staring at me and my baby U3 as they walk by; I can discern the suspicious technophobe-types from those who are just curious by their furtive glances and hurried gait. In all fairness, the ‘phobes are relatively open-minded toward tech, compared to just five or ten…