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“Doctor, doctor, I’m manic-depressive.”
Alright, then… Calm down! Cheer up! Calm down! Cheer up! Calm… “Doctor, doctor, I feel so short!” No problem. Hop up on the couch. “Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I’m ugly!” OK, lay on the couch, face down. “Doctor, doctor, I’ve only got 59 seconds to live.” Wait a minute please. (I love you sickos, keep the mail coming!)
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Suspense (killing you it must be)
I am in the middle of researching the most important subject I will ever post on – that’s right! – even more important than Japanese fish sausage, although if you are the astute type, you already suspect that Japanese fish sausage is somehow involved. You are correct. Hint: No, I am not covering the 500-foot tall Hello Kitty statue made of squid rings and rapeseed flowers to be erected in Sumoto this weekend. Also, I am NOT writing about the prime minister of Japan getting a handjob from the US ambassador to the chrysanthemum court in spite of beef imports continuing to be banned (the real reason for this is…
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Desert Island
A team of sociologists have planned an experiment in isolation. They send an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Japanese man to a deserted island and arrange to come back and pick them up in a year’s time and see how they have adapted. The sociologists leave, and the three men decide to split up the tasks amongst themselves. “I’m an engineer” says the Englishman, “So I’ll handle building a shelter”. He turns to the Frenchman and says: “You French are pretty good cooks so why don’t you handle the cooking?” The Frenchman agrees, and the Englishman turns to the Japanese and says “That leaves you to organise the supplies”. The…
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Playing with fire
I just reviewed a technical journal describing recent work-related accidents in our industry (electronics manufacturing) and came across an incident I coincidentally heard about from another source a few weeks ago. Last month, a manager at a (whatever) factory blew his stack at a worker who was welding together a steel support during factory expansion. He tore this guy a new asshole and made some threats, and told the worker to complete the job before he returned. The job wasn’t finished when he came back, so manager dude decides he’s gonna show the worker how to do the job right… Except he had no formal certification for welding (and thus…
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“That’s not my belly button, sensei!”
No matter how much amusement it would have provided in the years to come, I could not, in good conscience, allow an acquaintance to name his new children’s English conversation school “Neverland.” Update: I’m already too late to save this place.
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MP3 o’ the Day
NWA fans, believe me – this is the shit: Nina Gordon – SOC (thx G!)
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Re: Leibniz and Newton Warring
There’s a recent Neal Stephenson interview over at Reason.
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1185 Letters
The longest word in the English language: acetylseryltyrosylserylisoleucylthreonylserylprolylserylglutaminyl- phenylalanylvalylphenylalanylleucylserylserylvalyltryptophylalanyl- aspartylprolylisoleucylglutamylleucylleucylasparaginylvalylcysteinyl- threonylserylserylleucylglycylasparaginylglutaminylphenylalanyl- glutaminylthreonylglutaminylglutaminylalanylarginylthreonylthreonyl- glutaminylvalylglutaminylglutaminylphenylalanylserylglutaminylvalyl- tryptophyllysylprolylphenylalanylprolylglutaminylserylthreonylvalyl- arginylphenylalanylprolylglycylaspartylvalyltyrosyllysylvalyltyrosyl- arginyltyrosylasparaginylalanylvalylleucylaspartylprolylleucylisoleucyl- threonylalanylleucylleucylglycylthreonylphenylalanylaspartylthreonyl- arginylasparaginylarginylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylvalylglutamyl- asparaginylglutaminylglutaminylserylprolylthreonylthreonylalanylglutamyl- threonylleucylaspartylalanylthreonylarginylarginylvalylaspartylaspartyl- alanylthreonylvalylalanylisoleucylarginylserylalanylasparaginylisoleucyl- asparaginylleucylvalylasparaginylglutamylleucylvalylarginylglycyl- threonylglycylleucyltyrosylasparaginylglutaminylasparaginylthreonyl- phenylalanylglutamylserylmethionylserylglycylleucylvalyltryptophyl- threonylserylalanylprolylalanylserine
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Japan doesn’t need Wally World
An interview with Aeon CEO Motoya Okada: Japan’s Answer to Wal-Mart? Excerpt: Q: So what can you do to resolve this? A: Well, we will continue to enhance our supply chain and reduce costs, [so savings] can be passed back to our customers. We can also enhance our private brand. Well, they’ve certainly got the corporate rhetoric down… I personally think that most of the products marketed under Aeon’s TopValu brand is noticeably inferior to competing brands. They can’t even make decent green tea or dishsoap, which, as you might imagine, are fairly important items for the average Japanese consumer.
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Memories of Rain
Recently, the combination of late nights and wet roads evokes memories so immersive, I often find myself halfway home before realizing that it’s raining and I really should slow down. (The weather affects me more than I care to admit, I guess.) The memories I speak of all have one thing in common, that is, they are all memories of other late, rainy nights. This is my most recent one: Around six years ago, I was driving a coworker to her house in Moriguchi (Osaka), after a company drink-up. She had passed out and my boss asked me to take her home. It was raining pretty hard that night, and…
