Discriminating against an odiferous goatfucking porch monkey penis-eating gaijin shithead isn’t illegal in Japan… But you should sue the fuckers for doing it to you anyway! So sez Debito:
Get on their case
For those that don’t have the million yen or two to spare on litigation, I offer a more cost-effective solution (all major credit cards accepted):
NINJA FOR HIRE
(Link via NichiNichi)
Half-Life 2 Deathmatch
For all of you 1337 game critics who knocked HL2 for no multiplayer functionality:

G0RD0N FR33M4N 0NZ J00!
Past its prime
This would make a good Bat-van, with a few modifications. Impressive as its custom fender and rear wing are, this abductor van is greatly in need of a wash and wax.
Monkeys & Teak
There was a post on Mefi today that got me to thinking about zines. I’ve been in Japan for over 10 years so my access to them has basically been whatever my brother sent me, as well as a few I managed to pick up on trips back home, but… I think I’ve always harbored a desire to start a zine. I came close to almost starting some type of project a couple times back in high school, but pretty much gave up after having an article on my grandfather’s internment during WWII published by the LA Times. For a nerdy teenager, it felt like the apex of my writing, quite frankly. So I never gave it much thought after that, until quite recently.
You see, blogging partially fills the void that I think publishing a zine or tackling a more demanding project does, so for the time being, it is sufficient. I just don’t have the time to take on any more creative pursuits right now. Blogging is good in this respect. I can sit down at the computer, which I’m often on anyways, and bang out whatever’s on my mind (hence the name of this blog). Blogging doesn’t take as much effort, most of the time, than it does to publish on other mediums. I, as a salaryman, am extremely thankful for it.
However, I find myself thinking about what I will do when I move to Thailand, and the possibilities that will open for me there. At this point in time, I have no solid plans at all (although I do have a strong desire to create an army of monkeys and a teak forest, among other things). There may very well be a stretch of time there for me to get really creative. I am getting excited just bullshitting about this here… And I forget what I originally wanted to say. And now I have to run off to a meeting.
Last thought: I think I could make a good run at creating a succesful zine just for the Khaosan road, however, I would probably get sick of covering that death trap reeeeal quick.
Everybody Hurts
Asking why Crown Princess Masako had a nervous breakdown is like asking why they kept Emperor Showa on life support for so goddamn long. Subjugated people in general, but especially the Japanese, demand their leaders show a little frailty. Otherwise they’d never be on fucking TV.
diK soireT
Ah, fun with anagrams! Dick soiree (a phonetic interpretation) makes just about as much sense as Terios Kid spelled forwards.
Events occur in realtime
A blogger killing her mother may seem like a fairly unremarkable event, in the wider scope of things.
Posting about it on her blog, however, is a significant variation.
ichi-ni-san-shi-go-ichi-ni-san-shi…

Japanese method of counting in units of five.
Casualties of Winter

Sadly, the papayas did not make it.
Spicy Catfish Salad

Unsurprisingly, a lot of the photos I took in Thailand were of food. This was a spicy salad with sliced onions, cashews, peanuts, fried chilis, green mango, tamarind, fresh lemongrass, mint leaves and other assorted greens, topped with deep fried catfish. The roadside diner it was served at offered a spectacular view of the Chao Phraya river, and the broken platter only added to the authenticity of the food. It was so well done, the flavors of the salad would come in separate waves of sweet, sour, and spicy.
I don’t know about you, but I’m salivating, and it’s times like this when miso soup and a bowl of rice seem really, really boring.