I made a perfect salad today…

Tekito Salada:

  • A bag of mixed lettuce Nam bought on sale yesterday
  • Onion
  • Bell pepper
  • Thick-cut ham slices
  • 2 processed cheese slices

Special Tekito Salada Topping:

  • Canned tuna
  • Kewpie mayo
  • Spike seasoning
  • Pepper

Tekito Salada Dressing:

  • Balsamic vinegar
  • Olive oil
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Sesame seeds

* Note that tekito (??) means “whatever works” in Japanese.
Prepare and toss all of the Tekito Salada ingredients after dribbling on a suitable amount of Tekito Salada Dressing, then top with a scoop of Special Tekito Salada Topping. If your seasoning mojo is spot on, like mine was today, you will have created a perfect salad.
Possible improvements (if they happen to be in the fridge next time): Tomatoes, Borabu apples (or jicama), jerked cane frog powder

Max Damage

Max and I have an ever-evolving game of kickball that we play inside the house at night. It’s evolving so well, in fact, that last night I kicked the ball off the wall and it smacked directly into a tempered glass bowl sitting on the counter on its rebound, which of course slid off and broke on the kitchen tile in a hundred little pieces (luckily, it was tempered, so it wasn’t a thousand little pieces). And of course, I did this in full view of my wife, who was too angry for words, but also (luckily for me) too pregnant to get up and slap me silly… Max thought this was all just hilarious, which made Nam even more apoplectic.
I am a bad role model, and I really suck at soccer.
At least I’m reasonably good at breaking things, otherwise I’d be a total failure!
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On a side note, I’ve gotten in several arguments with various people, mostly at work, all this week, so I need to chill a bit, maybe. Sometimes it’s just hard when you feel like your true calling in life is being a mushroom cloud-laying m0th3rfuck3r, m0th3rfuck3r.