Author: Justin

Monsoon Season

A big storm blew through here yesterday… At one point, it was gusting as hard as I’ve ever seen it. The reeds at the edge of the pond were blowing sideways, and the doors of the house seemed unsure of whether to blow in or out. The babies were sleeping at the time, and stayed that way even though the thunder seemed to boom right over us and the lightning tripped the Saf-T-Cut twice. Nam was still at work, and the street in front of our house flooded a bit, but not as bad as last time.

The storm blew over and the sun came out. The babies eventually woke up and Max must have remembered the floods from last year since he asked me to go get him a fish. Neither the pond nor the storm drains were overflowing this time, so there weren’t any fish.

I had to run errands on the other side of town and saw that the storm had blown down a huge highway sign right in front of our neighborhood. I hope nobody got hurt. The rear entrance was flooded again, like last time, and for a while it was a bit too deep to drive a car or motorcycle through, although pickups were making it through just fine.

If anybody stupid enough to drive through that storm was going under this sign when the telephone pole-sized steel legs bent in half, they either crapped their pants or didn't even see how close they came to being squashed because it was impossible to see or hear anything.
They closed off one side of the highway to pull down the sign with crane trucks. This was the only way to get into my neighborhood, though, because the rear entrance was still flooded.
This doggy found a juicy treat.

It rained again hard today, which made us scramble around to get things done (Nam’s car is in Khon Kaen getting resprayed so we’re doing it all in the Crown and with the help of my <150cc bike fleet), but it’s all good now.

We are Legion, or the Ts have already won.

– NOTICE OF BAGGAGE INSPECTION –

To protect you and your fellow passengers, the XSA is required by law to steal your wife’s panties and confiscate your house keys so you can’t get in when you arrive home from your 26 hour flight at midnight inspect all checked baggage. Your bag was among those selected for physical inspection (possibly because it contained used women’s undergarments).

During the inspection, your bag and its contents may have been searched for prohibited or tantalizing items. At the completion of the inspection, many of the contents were returned to your bag (albeit not in the orderly or sensible fashion in which they were originally packed). Also, we forgot to completely zip up the outside pockets so that stuff was falling out of it when it reached the baggage carousel. In addition, we forgot to replace the suitcase straps… Our bad!

If the XSA officer was unable to open your bag for inspection because it was locked, the officer may have been forced to break the crappy die-cast metal locks meant to keep out petty thieves and perverts on your bag. Our bad! We routinely invest in million dollar x-ray porn machines, but can’t afford a bent paper clip! XSA sincerely regrets having to do this, however, XSA is not liable for damage to your locks resulting from this necessary security precaution (because if we wanted to be accountable for our actions, we wouldn’t work for the government!).

We appreciate your understanding and cooperation.

all made of stars / bit by a bad dog

We just got back to our house last night and it is all crazy unpacking, cleaning house (plus spontaneous furniture rearrangement) and getting ready for school (for Mina only) and work tomorrow, but I need to write this down lest I forget…

We arrived here in the middle of a ferocious heatwave; the locals say it got so hot that water buffalo died because they got too hot and their livers burst (!). We took the kids to play at the big bounce house at Big C and basically sweated out their own body weight. Then I dropped off everybody at home because I had to change out a bad relay at my pal’s garage. It was of course the relay for the air conditioner, so it felt like driving around in a big black oven most of the day.

When I was gone, Nam took Max and Mina a couple streets down where the neighborhood kids gather to play. Long story short, Nam got bit by a little yappy ass dog that some stupid people who just moved in let roam around outside (until now, there were no dogs on that street, which is one reason it’s the designated kid area). She called me and told me to come home and watch the kids while she went to the hospital for rabies shots (although the bite didn’t break skin and the dog is a house pet, this is something you don’t fuck around with in developing countries).

I got home and got Max and Mina inside the gate while Nam was getting ready to go. I noticed a young dead sparrow on our driveway and pointed it out to the kids to distract them from mommy’s departure (they had seen mommy get bitten and were worried when I told them she was going to see a doctor).

Max was entranced by the dead bird and asked if I could “fix” it.

I said “no.”

Then he asked “what about mommy?”

Thinking he was asking if mommy could fix it, I said, “no.”

He burst into tears and was inconsolable for quite some time.

— — —

It finally came to light that when he asked about mommy, he was asking whether she could be fixed or not, and I inadvertently equated her to a dead bird on the ground.

Oops.

Airport waiting

Time for the long journey home, boarding in five minutes.

LAX does itself no favors instituting a mandatory full body search for parents carrying baby milk, and the comically serious airport policeman cruising around these hallways on a Segway makes things seem so… LA.