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Blessed are the gentle
I’m on lunch break. My old pal Lenny just ambushed me out of nowhere with a Flaming Fist o’ Tuna Roll attack to the shoulder and caused me to spill iced coffee on my pants (in the crotchital region, of course). What made today’s attack unique was that he said, “I’m gonna KILL you!,” as he stepped in for the blow. (Coffee aside, the shit was pretty funny, because Lenny’s eyes get all googly and bulge out when he gets excited.) A nearby coworker jumped to my aid and exclaimed, “Lenny! NO! BAD BOY! You can’t EVER say you’re gonna kill someone!,” and also added, “right, Justin?” As I wiped…
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Passing the Torch
My time is almost up; the next wave of invaders is already here. I have seen them on the streets and I hear them on the trains. I leave the future colonization of Japan in their able hands.
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New Product Alert
First, an item that should prove immensely popular overseas: JAPAN no kaori (“the scent of Japan”) That’s right, it’s JAPAN branded toilet paper! Embroidered with the characters for “Takeshima” and “Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere,” using it will surely evoke visions of a glorious, chrysanthemum-scented future! Made with 100% sandalwood pulp. … Next up is the greatest thing since sliced mochi: Sour cream in a tube! Possibly taking their cue from Kewpie Mayonnaise, Nakazawa has replaced their line of tiny 130ml cups of sour cream with tiny 100ml tubes of the same! Brilliant! (note: On closer inspection, the cup image I linked to is a 1 liter tub that I’ve…
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New Great White at MBA
My sister, who works at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, sent along the following press release: “FOR THE 2ND TIME, MONTEREY BAY AQUARIUM PUTS A YOUNG WHITE SHARK IN OUTER BAY EXHIBIT Earlier success raised public awareness of threats, generated new funds for white shark research For the second time, the Monterey Bay Aquarium has placed a young white shark on public exhibit, bringing him to Monterey on Thursday evening (August 31), 14 days after aquarium husbandry collectors caught the shark on hook-and-line gear off Southern California. As in 2004-2005 – when another white shark was on exhibit for a record 198 days before her successful return to the wild –…
