Catacombses Pt. II – Curse of the LMDP

The Guardian unveils the vampire Lazar, spokesartiste for La Mexicaine de la Perforation: Paris’s new slant on underground movies
Personally, I think Ford should use the name Lazar for their new SUV and describe it as an “urban explorer.” Hey, if I were Eminem, I would rhyme that with “anal inducer” (Ah, no wait, he’s still stuck on rhyming “Slim Shady” with “slim shady”).
And I think a better name for this article would have been:
Parisian Window Dressers and Massons Agree: Eraserhead Experience 100% More Subversive in Sewer Theatres

Your yen ain’t good enough

This article at Time Asia might as well have been titled “Why file sharing owns iTunes in Japan”:
Where’s the Music?
This article explains the reason I download MP3s with file-sharing apps instead of paying for them online (BTW, I purchase music I like, which is not really a justification but sounds kinda responsiblish).
If you are a BitTorrent user who downloads music, you probably know that TorrentBox, TorrentReactor, and SuprNova are great sites for finding what you want. Personally I like the Azureus client. If you are after Japanese music, there is no substitute for Winny2, but you better have a LOT of room on your hard drive if you use it. Sorry, I’m too busy to link right now, but these sites are all top results if you run a Google search.

Catacombses, my precious

From the Guardian: In a secret Paris cavern, the real underground cinema
In my third year of university here, my pal T came back from a two year journey all over the world, most recently Paris, with a crazy gypsy girlfriend in tow. She had red hair and crooked teeth, and although I never caught her doing it, I swear she had a little bag of bones she would occasionally toss into the ashes with which to determine the alignment of Jupiter or tomorrow’s chance of rain, or some such crap. Actually, she was pretty cool to hang out with because she made T act like a man sometimes, which is more than I can say for his sad, sorry, married ass now (sorry T, I call ’em as I see ’em). She eventually went back to France when her Japanese tourist visa expired, and I tagged along when Taro went to visit.
Imagine my surprise when I found out she was the most normal person in her entire group of friends (let me put it this way, I was even more surprised than T was when she came to met us at the airport with a totally new hairstyle – short hair now dyed black, with shoulder-length cornrow extensions she had done at an “African barbershop”). Her friends were essentially street kids. The night we got there, we rented a car and drove into the dark heart of the city to look for them on unmarked sidestreets. We found them in squatting at some funky construction site, accessible only by climbing under a chain link fence marked with the French equivalent of “No Trespassing.” It was a reunion with old friends for T, and I got to know everybody quickly. It was a true ghetto party, complete with trash can fires and sticky balls of black sin smuggled fresh from Nepal. At some point the whiskey ran out and bottles of wine were produced, only to reveal that nobody had a corkscrew, So someone brought out a hammer and the rest of the night was spent eating cold merguez sandwiches and gingerly sipping from bottles with broken necks (when I said ghetto, I meant it).
The reason any of this pertains to the link above is that I recall a conversation regarding the catacombs beneath the city. You see, T’s friends had this squatting stuff down to a science. Apparently, after buildings are condemned in certain disticts of Paris, they are essentially fair game for a whole year. They aren’t torn down, and the police don’t kick out squatters. So these kids were moving to freshly condemned buildings from year to year, although if picking got slim, they could always sleep “below the city.” At the time, I thought they were joking, but I guess the spooky catacombs are only a part of a huge tunnel network they have there… Dim lighting and gloomy rooms painted with religious symbols, eh? All I can think is, that sounds awfully like the Mines of Moria. My inner geek is urging me to find out what T’s ex is doing these days – that would be an awfully cool trip.
So what say you, T? There’s nothing like calling up an old flame out of the blue on behalf of a good friend’s inner geek, is there?
I’ll bring the corkscrew this time.

What to do when you’re bored in Iraq

There’s a great article about soldiers fishing in Iraq over at the ESPN site:
Fishing Saddam’s Waters
Excerpt:

“We’ve heard that Saddam only allowed his family (tribe) to fish these lakes. All others (caught fishing) were put in jail. When Palace Lake was drained (searching for weapons), they found over a hundred dead bodies in the lake.” (No wonder the fish were big!)

All of the soldiers interviewed said they didn’t eat what they caught – bodies aside, I can understand that sentiment. Adam and I have been fishing the murky waters of our local river, where we never see anyone fishing. When people see us, they invariably ask: 1. what we can catch there and 2. if it’s good to eat. Japanese fishing is so single-minded!
We don’t target yummy species because we just want to enjoy fishing for the sake of fishing. It’s a self-fulfilling luxury provided by the advent of supermarkets, ya know?

Clear Lenses

clear-lens.jpg
Clear or yellow-colored lenses (aka “ambers”) are one of my pet peeves, because it all seems so high school. I think Options magazine is at fault for popularizing this trend in the states as well as Japan (although I cannot truly disparage this holiest-of-holy publications). I remember my Acura Racing Club pals ordering these parts from Japan for their Integras. That was ten or fifteen years ago, so when I see how many middle-aged men put them on their cars now, it makes me kinda sick. Grow the fuck up already, ya know?.

GooDiet

goodiet.jpg
I think I understand what the creaters were going for. GooDiet is meant to be one of those concepts that takes two (or more) words and splices them together to create a third, previously unknown hybrid. Fugly, fantabulous (coined by Del tha Funky Homosapien), vurp (Tim Allen), and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (Mary Poppins) are all good examples of hybrid words that have become, to some extent, part of our lexicon. However, GooDiet is different. Clearly, whoever came up with GooDiet was trying to impart to the consumer that the product was both “Good” and useful if you are on a “Diet”. Their splice came out as a Frankenword.
Now, I do think that a diet composed of goo would be an effective diet because no one would want to consume more goo than necessary to function. However, why pay for something that is advertised to be a disgusting product? With so many other options of gel-based squeeze pouches out there (a few include Vaam, Aquarius, and Qoo) I doubt that the Japanese consumer will choose GooDiet as the space-Jello that they will replace their meals with. As for me, I prefer Jello in bite sized squares. Eating Jello through a straw is for people recovering from jaw surgery.