Category: Society & Culture

Check it out: The face of Little Tokyo is changing
$820,000 for a 3-bed 2BR @ 1,226 square feet! That’s a stone’s throw from skid row, people!
Then again, there is the coming of a new high-speed wireless network, the annual celebration of Nisei Week, and the (pending approval of a liquor license) upscale titty bar, the Penthouse Club, to look forward to. (Joke: How many lapdancers can a city councilman fit on his lap? Answer: Shut up and suck this dick, bitch!)

There are times when beating on a fucker like this with a baseball bat would just make my day. Why do we even tolerate clowns in modern society? They should be burned at the stake as far as I’m concerned, right along with mimes, jugglers, and human statues.
Oh, and parents who hire clowns for their children’s birthday parties should be fucking shot, too.

“Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger to be cited for failure to wear a helmet, not having a proper license at time of his June 12 accident.”

1. And this affects me and 99.9999999% of the world how?
2. Please tell me why he should care about a fucking traffic citation, as opposed to, say, the massive trauma to his face and head.
3. Please tell me why you consider this worthy of an e-mail news alert while, say, this is not.

It just occurred to me that I can’t remember the last time I’ve been inside a movie theatre. It’s been at least a year, maybe two. Yet I’ve seen every movie that I’ve wanted to, and some of those I saw before they were released in theatres. Of course, I encourage other people to do the same as well – I really wouldn’t care if modern movies, as we know them, simply ceased to exist. They are entertaining, but about as meaningful as picking your nose.
So somehow, this is all very satisfying.
In the words of Chuck D: Hey yo, fuck Hollywood, man.

Yesterday we saw the most interesting car on this island.
I applaud the concept:
– A brand spankin’ new Lexus SC 430 in jet black
– Top lowered to enjoy the fine weather at sunset
The execution caused me to laugh so hard, I almost puked:
– Driver: mid-to-late 50’s, toupe peeled back halfway off his head
– Music: Very loud, very gay J-Pop
– Custom rims: Spinners!
Observation for the day: Rich people in expensive cars really hate being laughed at by mere pedestrians.

“If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese. It works!”
I totally had to pull the corner of my eyes as if I were Chinese. Is this conclusive evidence that the Japanese race evolved independently from the rest of the world (as people who drive black buses around urban centers blaring loud propaganda messages through speaker towers would want you to believe), or am I just a bad Asian?
(via Osaka bill)

A friend in marketing taught me this term the other day.
Chuppies = Chinese yuppies.
They are the next trendsetters.
God save us all.
My friend says anyone who is anyone in his field will give his left nut to be a major player in this demographic. Me? I went to school with Chuppies, only we didn’t call them that then. We called them sneaky, lying assholes with a twisted sense of Confucianism. Of course, we were just stupid kids, so….

You know those situations where you refrain from explaining something to somebody because you don’t think they’ll get it, then they turn out to understand it better than you do and you’re too embarassed to admit that you didn’t think they were capable of understanding it to begin with, which is already apparent to them anyway?
It makes you just want to go hide in a corner somewhere, especially if you kind of like that person… But sometimes it’s nice to confirm you’re just an asshole, like everybody else around you.

What is it with Asians giving themselves western names at the workplace? I work with Tommies, Jacks, Johns,etc., on a daily basis, yet these are all assumed names. More often than not, these are names that corporate English teachers or clients (that can’t pronounce native Japanese/Chinese names) have bestowed upon those in question.
Today, the G-man informed me of the best one we have heard to date. One of his wcorrespondents has dubbed himself Great Wang.
No shit, that’s what the guy calls himself; it’s even in the first part of his email address.
I don’t even know where to start analyzing something like this.
– I need one of this guy’s business cards. Just to be able to show it around.
– Will his assistants be known as Lesser Wangs?
– Anybody confident enough to wear Great Wang t-shirts? Tattoos?

Hanami is when Japanese people start acting like a bunch of Mexicans, laying around under trees and drinking beer. – Grinch-san, 2006
You know what? Grinch-san’s comment cracked me the fuck up. Can’t really refute what the man says. What I can say is that, once again, the weather has taken a turn for the worse during the sakura bloom again. We haven’t had good weather throughout the bloom for quite a few years now.
You know what bothers me about going to hanami more and more over the years? The number of gaijin twats. They aren’t acting like twats, mind you. They’re just being themselves.
/end hanami rant 2006