Moving

T just brought my bro, Adam, out from Nara to help him move his stuff to Juso, a part of Osaka famous for negi-yaki and whores. I guess the obvious question is, which one will leave a more bitter taste in his mouth? Good luck, dude.

In the Inbox (April 21, 2005)

“We all know the Pope was elected in utmost secrecy; the rooms they held the conclave were swept for bugs, special filtering was setup for radio waves and cell phones, etc… . But you want to know the real reason for all the secrecy and privacy? They’re in there with a bunch of little boys and they didn’t want to get caught…”
All you sick bastards make me so proud…

So much anger…

On behalf of my host country, I would like to extend an official apology to another nearby country:
SORRY! OUR BAD!
Now shut the fuck up and revise your own history books, you fucking commies! (and learn to throw rocks/eggs/bottles in a slightly more manly fashion while you’re at it!)
Between this Japan/China shit and the whole papal buttgasm, there’s hardly a slot for good old-fashioned car chases and Amber alerts on CNN, dammit!

Impoltant!

Recently, dealing with changes due to the new fiscal year have taken up my time at work, and today was no exception. Into my Inbox flies a matter of great concern to the corporate higher-ups: They say we have been bad monkeys, and our poor “upbringing” and “manners” are marring the company’s precious image as of late. Severe breaches in company protocol have been observed, thus they are compelled to remind us of the following:
– Morning exercises are mandatory.
– Break time is finished when the bell chimes.
– Drink vending machines may only be used during break time.
– Eating and drinking are only allowed in break rooms, during break time.
– Drink bottles and cups cannot be placed on desks.
– Talking in the hallways is prohibited (especially idle chatter).
– Walking with your hands in your pockets is prohibited.
I must admit, I am a serious violator on every count. A rebel, have you. At least they didn’t say I had to take my crack pipe off my desk… Ha!