Fake Kingston Flash Drive

I went to the annual Chinese festival in downtown Maha Sarakham last month; this is one where they host Chinese opera at the business association meeting hall (I uploaded crappy vids of the opera this year here and here). Aside from the performance, which I generously bear for up to three whole minutes every time I go (once every couple years), I also like walking the wide area of stalls filled mostly with unimpressive yet numerous food vendors.

At the end of one row of stalls was a memory card/USB thumb drive vendor selling at very low prices. I picked up this 8GB Kingston stick for a couple hundred baht with the intention of filling it with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Yo Gabba Gabba episodes for the kids, which they can use with our DVD players at home and in the car.

Unfortunately, the plastic case of the flash drive separated into halves within a week of unpackaging, and most of the files stored on it were corrupted or lost even after low level formatting. I had noticed that the packaging looked a bit suspect just after buying it, but had used fake name brand USB sticks before and hadn’t had any problems… I took a closer look at the packaging:

It's true, nobody reads the fine print!

Lesson: If you buy fake crap, sometimes you will be burned.

Chris Delivery

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of being Chris Delivery’s bodyguard (I got the job by looking “ex-yakuza.”) Fortunately, there were no kidnapping or assassination attempts, but he did get jumped by several groups of screaming fans wanting autographs and v sign photos (and, I suspect, a romantic evening under a private mango tree).

The talk he gave at our university was heartfelt and entertaining, and a great success by any measure. Props to my friend, Ajarn Kedsiree Jumpeehom, for setting it up and thanks to Chris for putting on an awesome show.

For a television personality with several shows, books, and other assorted projects known to pretty much everybody in Thailand, Chris is humble and just a generally great guy; he pretty much hates being grouped in with the snobby TV star set and keeps it real. I pretty much flipped when I heard that he personally teaches all of the classes at his English School in Central World (there’s a list of other teachers there so maybe he teaches all of the classes some of the time).

Here’s some shots showing the venue (the Main Hall at Rajabhat Maha Sarakham) and the turnout (around 1,500 at the start by my count, plus many more walk-ins changing with students leaving for classes part way through)

Pre-show meet & greet:

Pictured: Dean Sunee, Aj. Mayuree, Aj. Teera, Aj. Kedsiree, Chris Delivery

 

Almost go time:

Gauging crowds by counting rows, but sorely needing a wider lens:

Gauging crowds with the motorcycle index:

Gauging crowds with the broken toilet index:

After we reached Khon Kaen Airport, my detail ended by safely escorting the principal to the secure area, and I immediately proceeded to the airport shop to acquire a cold six-pack. All members of the escort team proceeded to the nearest McDonalds and many freshly-constructed McRibs were consumed the way Buddha intended them to be, with a freezing can of Leo. All in all, it was a great day, even if I did crash my goddamn car to start it off.

STP

Linking to that STP video in my last post got me to thinking…

  • How could their music videos have been so bad when their recorded live sessions were so good?
  • Their first two albums were so good, the diminishing returns that followed could be forgiven (unlike Pearl Jam, who never learned how to stop making bad albums)
  • I first heard them 18 years ago? Really?? Damn I feel old… Max will feel about them like I felt about the Beatles! (He won’t really like them for another 18 years?)
  • One of my favorite thing about Wikipedia is that it teaches me new (mostly useless) stuff about things I’ve liked/used for years. For example: “…the band’s name was inspired by a carving in an ancient temple that depicts a man in a small flying ship, a reference to ancient aliens.” (Cosmic Buddha’s article will someday read: “…the band’s name was inspired by a chalkboard explanation of Greater and Lesser Vehicles by the head of their Japanese exchange program in a horribly humid classroom in Tenri, Japan.” Yes, this website and domain name were originally used for our band; live band sessions ended but playing on the internet sessions didn’t.)

Hapax legomenon of the day (with def)

Bamafutication: Claiming that the commander-in-chief had “nothing to do” with a military operation targeting the most wanted man in the world.

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You’re just angry you missed the Apprentice.

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UPDATE: Out of many, this is the best.

Legion, the chat transcript

Adam: yo
what up

Adam: that’s cool, I like chatting to myself anyway

me: hey
you there?

Adam: they killed the black guy!

me: ?

Adam: and he had a prosthetic hand…
bastards!
Legion
it’s a really good movie!
such an intricate plot

me: oh

Adam: and great acting

me: you should see spartacus the series
pretty cool

Adam: what up man

me: not much
just finished my only class for today

Adam: nice

me: i was sitting under the trees outside drinking coffee

Adam: gonna go do something fun?

me: um
soon
got a pal who’s cousin has an m4

Adam: lol

me: we’re going to go to the police range and surprise the shit out of some cops

Adam: nice

me: his uncle’s the governor of a nearby province so he has all the papers
he usually takes it to the range and gets asked about it by all the cops after he rocks full auto

Adam: oh no, black guy number two is rushing the zombies
fuck, where’s omar when you need him
oh shit, the little girl is a zombie

me: farmer in the dell

Adam: she ate him!
fuck
the white girl is going crazy
she’s in the van!
The little kid is leading the zombies

me: is that a gladiator movie with zombies or what

Adam: now the angel is taking an mp5 out of the diner
karate chop
flying forward kick!
cap to the dome!

me: wtf that movie sounds awesome

Adam: gasoline flame thrower

me: robocop

Adam: ooh, white girl is getting lucky
back safe in diner

me: you need to see walking dead

Adam: sorry, the movie must look super cool through text

me: it sounds awesome

Adam: that’s what I hear

me: keep going

Adam: oh shit, baby girl stabbing!

me: i wont bother watching it

Adam: lol
oh shit, the baby girl got tossied in the air

Adam: shot by machine gun!

Adam: like a midget toss
now the girl is in labor!

me: wtf

Adam: her vagina is glowing!

me: that movie is fucking complicated

Adam: never mind, was just a flashlight
wow, that baby popped right out
looks like quaid from total recall

Adam: “The baby was not meant to be born…but the future was unwritten. The baby was born.”
one handed baby catch!

Adam: wow, the angel is being rear naked choked@
oh, choker pwned by a switchblade hidden in a mace

Adam: “sorry, we’re out of business”
lolz
angel got shot in the head with a flare gun
wow, I think I should go study

Adam is offline.

A request to parents:

Please stop making Facebook accounts for your babies and sending friend requests to all of your friends “friends.” You are freaking me the fuck out with your poor judgment and obvious disconnect to the real world (you know, the one where any idiot can have a kid).

I dub thee famewhore mama / papa.