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Bust out the cane sword
For those of you coming to our wedding in Thailand, we will be hiring a couple of masseuses to stay at the hotel and treat all of our guests to muscle-kneading nirvana. Why masseuses as opposed to male masseurs? Well, obviously, first this is because I’m a guy and I have a sausage-snatching-by-other-men phobia, but this is kind of beside the point, because the masseuses I intend to employ are old women. In fact, the one who we have already confirmed is an old, blind woman – so I know she rocks without even having met her. You see, I have had a variety of massages here and there over…
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Kings of Rice
I think I stumbled onto the riciest of them all – a virtual kingdom of kome. Go check it out: 20050116 Tokyo Auto Salon 02
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Finding a Wife, Old Testament Style
This is pretty funny: Top 15 Biblical Way to Acquire a Wife My favorites: – Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) – Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) – Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife. David (I Samuel 18:27) – Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) And I’m sure my pal T would agree: – Don’t be so picky.…
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New Uniform – Winter Version
As promised… The thing is, Kitty looks pretty good in it! Dammit Kitty, why are you always trying to contradict me! The only other red-collared jacket I’ve seen recently was in a UK movie called The Business – a story based in the early 1980’s.
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Uniform Update
I received the jacket part of my company’s uniform this week. Oh my. Photos are of course forthcoming, possibly tonight. It depends on if Hello Kitty is in the mood for modeling when I get home.
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Python Bursts After Trying to Eat Gator
In this photo provided by the Everglades National Park, the carcass of a six-foot American alligator is shown protruding from the mid-section of a 13-foot Burmese python Monday, Sept. 26, 2005 in Everglades National Park, Fla., after the snake apparently swallowed the alligator resulting in the deaths of both animals. Inherit the wind, oh fuzzy little animals… LINK
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Elephant Trivia
Holy shit. In Thailand, you can apparently rent an elephant for around $30 a day. I assume I need to feed them a couple hundred pounds of monkeys or whatever they eat a day, as well, but still… I might just rent one for everybody so we can play bumpercars or something.
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Basic Man FAQ
FAQ: How many men does it take to open a beer? Answer: None. It should be opened when she brings it. FAQ: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. FAQ: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. FAQ: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…” FAQ: How do you…
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The Art of Wedding Procurement, Thai Edition
So our wedding is set for February 18th, in Nam’s hometown of Mahasarakham, Thailand. We will perform a traditional Thai wedding ceremony in the morning, to be followed by the reception at a nearby hotel in the evening. We are trying to arrange as much as possible by ourselves, because neither Marty Sheen nor Jenny Lopez are available to be my wedding planner, although they say they might drop by for the reception, if schedules permit. The morning procession consists of me and my entourage (cuz ahma gaaaaangsta) walking in a procession from one end of town to our new house. This is all I know from my limited research…
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Highly Accurate Online Personality Test
It nailed me spot-on. Go take it: PERSONALITY TEST
