G-man is transferring to Osaka this week, so we spent a great part of this past 3 day weekend hanging out and contemplating our lives and times on this great island/origin of the Japanese archipelago (according to the Kojiki).
One of the places we decided to visit for the last time was the Gandalf Bridge. Even though I am not leaving for another four months or so, I doubt I will visit it alone because it is right near G-man’s house, which is up on a mountain in the middle of nowhere. Gandalf Bridge got its name from the hordes of Shelob-sized arachnids that spin webs across its railings, necessitating a stick, aka magic wand, with which to clear a path. The Gandalf Bridge is one of the narrow, steel platform bridges you see spanning over the Awaji-Naruto Highway every ten miles or so. I have never seen anyone besides me and G-man using these bridges during my entire stay on the island.
I think they exist to allow road maintenance crews pass over, but not the crews for the highway itself – the crews that service the roads on either side of the highway. However, the roads on either side of the highway, for the most part, are totally overgrown with vines and seem unmaintained, so maybe my theory is just shit. Either way, Gandalf Bridge is a fucking cool spot to chill and drink beers. It beats the hell out of getting into fights with Japanese rednecks in the Lawson’s parking lot or slowly rotting to death in front of the TV, which seem to be the primary pastimes around here.
You can sit on the bridge for hours, watching cars pass both ways underneath you. If you are an asshole, or maybe in junior high, you can pee on the cars both ways, too. I suppose if you were a sicko, you could crap on them, too. We just chill, tho.
It was sad. The end of an era for G-man. No more Island of Salary for him. For me, I got a few more months. I guess it won’t be all that bad. Hey, I started out doing my time here alone – I can finish it that way, too. Good luck in Osaka, G-man. Good luck, G-man’s fam.
……….
– This article was brought to you by the Association of Fam = Family for President.
Author: Justin
Big Stuff Done
We have successfully moved to our new webhost, Dreamhost. Our old host, iPowerweb, was cheap but there was way too much downtime, we were running out of room for all the sites we host, and their customer service was horrible… Anyway, with some coupon codes I found on the web, this Dreamhost account ended up being cheaper for two years than if I had renewed for another single year at iPower! So, I’m happy. Thanks to Gen Kanai for recommending Dreamhost. Shell access totally kicks ass!
Unfortunately, I do not have time to tweak the looks of my site all at once, so changes will come gradually (starting with my blogroll, I guess). This blog may change colors every time you see it for the next few months are so, which is annoying, I know, but bear with me.
Upgrade to Movable Type 3.3b1
That’s right, we’re running beta software, baby! The MT upgrade took longer than it should have because of a weird FTP glitch that prevented all the necessary files from being transferred to the server; it was driving me crazy trying to figure it out, but it all worked out in the end.
I have to say, waiting this long to upgrade had its merits – it’s been like riding around in a new car for the past half hour. So many new gadgets and features I had no idea I needed until I tried them! I may have even found an alternative hack for my sidebar photos.
Anyway, we can’t get too settled here yet; the move to a new webhost is still coming. Soon. Ah, it’s nice to know I at least got this tempermental software to work once, though!
batter up
I would like to take time out from my completely stressed-out crazy bad news week to point out that I totally called this one: LINK
In the grass
Nam called me up in a panic yesterday because she crossed paths with a snake in the yard of our house (in Thailand). She told me it was about a meter long and light green, and she asked what she should do so I said LEAVE IT ALONE, because all I could think of was:
Behold the awesome glory of the White-lipped Pitviper.
Of course, it might have been the Toothless Leaf-eating Snake of Northern Thailand, but I wasn’t about to ask her to see if its head was shaped like a diamond or not (and I’m sure Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin would have agreed with that decision). Meanwhile, the snake decided to escape – up the storm drain of our house and onto the first story roof. Cool!
I told Nam to go get help, but just then a university kid happened to walk by, so he helped her somehow knock the snake off the roof and over the back wall into the adjoining forest. So all ended well, because I had heard before that Thais immediately kill any snakes that come near their homes, but Nam assures me that people in the Isaan region (where our house is) think it’s bad juju to wantonly kill shit, so they just try and get along with nature. That makes the Discovery Channeler in me so goddam happy to hear…
Thailand is not the best place for those squeamish about snakes and crawly things – a large portion of the cobra family (including the King Cobra), krait family (including the beautiful Red-headed Krait), as well as several kinds of waterbound and sea snakes can be found pretty much throughout the country.
Underground
What compels people to shun the world above ground, the sunlight, the weather, the outside? The unnatural lighting of the underground makes faces look sallow and haggard. Everybody’s eyes are just… dead. I began to think it would really be best for everyone if the city burned down once every 50 years, just so things could be started anew. Because the underground is undeniable proof that something is wrong, and wrong in a way that can never be fixed.
…………..
It’s like a magnet for insanity, as well. The jittery guy on the subway who everybody avoids because he’s nuzzling a grimy teddy bear and gets visibly spooked when approached – make no mistake, he was drawn here. The uncomfortable sheen of fluorescent lights, the raw and sudden clamor of disembarcation, and the sweet, lingering stench of beer vomit are familiar and comforting, companions in despair.
………….
Kyorisoku – New Mapion Feature
Mapion is my favorite map site for Japan because of its huge-resolution BB (broadband) maps and excellent GUI. I was on the site today looking up directions when I noticed a new feature – distance measurement! Basically, you plot a course on a map by drawings points with your cursor and the distance between each point as well as the total are calculated in a handy little table, which also shows estimated time and calories burned if you walk, jog, ride a bike, or drive the route you plotted.
For instance, this is what it would look like if you walked out of the men’s restroom of Jusco (Sumoto branch), crossed the parking lot, ran to the nearby Sumoto river, and walked over water to get to the nearest Mobil gas station:
(click to see full size)
Unfortunately, there’s no info for performing that last miracle – but remember, IT’S STILL IN BETA. Let’s see if Mapion can include that, plus wind resistance, blood-type factors, and gravitational pull of passing delivery vans in the next version, k? Until then, you can see just how long it takes to get from my corner (where the nearsighted old man and his wife attempt to hawk wilted cabbage to all who pass) to anywhere else in Japan…
I think this new feature will be damn useful for planning bank heists.
Zatoichi #4
Real men wear haramaki (to literally hold their guts in if they get slashed).