Author: Justin

Fellow Ugmericans…

Just a quick observation today: When any random group of expats gathers overseas for a social event – be it a holiday, a sports event, or even just a quick drink at the local watering hole – why does there always seem to be at least one TOTAL FUCKING PSYCHO among their numbers? You know who I mean, the asshole who likes to get in the middle of conversations he couldn’t hope to begin understanding, and wants nothing more than to prove his conviction in his simpleton viewpoints by punching someone in the face… And why does the psycho always seem to be from the same country as you?

my week in signs


“jump for joy! you made it without wetting your pants!”

There’s always time for air hockey… with your gang.

No peddling measly wares, you Dickensian biotches (M-F 8:00 – 10:00AM)

The coolest car I saw this month. Some type of Hillman.

A line of mops, brooms, and scrub brushes marketed under the brand name BLACK MAN. So wrong, I just had to have one – now that’s marketing!

Overall, the sparse furnishing and utilitarian decor force us to recommend Mass Casualty Zone A over this one.

What starts in the men’s room ends in the man room.

Weather Revelation

I am shocked.
It’s COLD outside. I’m in Thailand, and it’s COLD outside. Granted, I was standing on my veranda in my boxers, but it’s genuinely cold! In Thailand!
I’m so happy, I could cry! But I think I’ll take a midnight shower and bask in the shivering COLDNESS instead (this weather will only last until February, apparently).
OK, this still doesn’t explain why some people on the street are wearing winter parkas (!), or why there are earmuffs and wool scarves (!!) on sale at the department stores (it’s cold enough for me to use a warm blanket at night – perhaps for the first time, here – but I’m pretty sure I’ll never need anything warmer than long sleeve shirts during the day).
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Ha ha, I just took a shower and I’m freezing my ass off! In Thailand!
This is like the best day of my life.